I wrote the bible on her body of work for a final grade, and even I’m itching to hear what he’d have to say in an episode like that. Film Twitter would be abuzz.
“If you get even a glimpse ofChompin’ at the Bitor information about her process or frame of mind while making it, I’d love to have you on my show.”
My heart picks up impressive speed. Me? On a nationally recognized podcast? Alongside the bestselling author ofForgotten Films: Hollywood’s Rarely Seen Gems? That kind of platform boost could bolster my credibility, make me more hirable in an already slim market.
But let’s face it. I’m not a well-spoken expert like he is. A BA in film studies and a plucky passion are all I have going for me. Besides, I tried getting to Alice and was led down a path of little return. I can’t expect this time to be any different.
Yet, in the back of my mind, I hear Avery’s sentiments about getting adult jobs. I didn’t want to admit it in the moment, but she was a little right. I can’t stay on the Wiley’s payroll forever. Not as my only source of income. It barely covers my summer rent, which my parents refused to help with since it’s not for school anymore. They wanted me to sublet my room in the apartment and spend the summer with them at their house. As if that wouldn’t be totally tragic. Like what happened to Alice back then, except significantly less serious.
“There was supposed to be a hometown premiere of her movie at Wiley’s Drive-In, where I work, after the initial New York and LA events. It never happened because of early walkouts and the critics’ negative reviews.” I’m sure he already knows all of this, but Alice went into hiding after a series of misogynistic pans hit the major publications. Most of them mentioned the laughable zombie makeup and melodramatic plot. Some even went as far as to publicly call into question Alice’s sexuality. A blow they never would’ve dealt to one of her male counterparts.
“I think people are ready to reevaluate her work. I would love to make that premiere finally happen,” I say. In fact, that’s been one of my dreams ever since I first heard about Alice Kelly. Being able to rewrite history and finally host the premiere that never was…it’s the kind of thing that could bring big business to Wiley’s.Ifthere was actually a way to get my hands on her film.
Oscar’s well-groomed eyebrows rise in intrigue.
“You didn’t mention that to me,” Dr. Tanson scolds.
“Well, right, because I’m not sure it can actually…”
Oscar cuts in, misreading my wistful dreams as actual plans. “When do you think this might take place? August, perhaps? This could be huge. My podcast has been bubbling under the Top One Hundred lists on all major platforms, and an episode of this magnitude could push me over the top. It’s fresh, it’s relevant.” He scratches his chin in enthusiastic thought. “I could even imagine interest in an Alice Kelly biography.”
“For you to write?”
“No,” he says as if it’s the easiest thing in the world, “for you.”
I won’t let myself imagine a future where I get to put my film studies degree to use by writing a published book. One that goes out into the world with my name on the cover and a dust jacket with my photo in it. That would be the pinnacle of success.
A daydream drifts through my mind despite my best efforts.
In a professional studio, Derick hoists a camera as I pose for my author photos. “Tilt your head a little to the left,” he says, kindly commanding.
When I don’t get it right on the second try, he comes over and uses the pads of his fingers to reposition my chin, his thumb accidentally brushing over my bottom lip as our eyes catch.
Dammit, too late. Now I’ve pictured it. And I want it. I want it so badly.
The book part. Not the Derick part. The Derick part is off the table. He’s made clear more than once that whatever connection I thought we had has been discontinued, and everything I always secretly wanted is out of the question.
Butthis… This feels like the universe giving me exactly what I needed. Forget a kiss quest; I now had a career quest.
In a flurry of excitement, I say, “I’ll make it happen.” It’s a bold claim that I can’t substantiate or take back. Avery’s right. I need to get a foothold in adulthood sooner rather than later. Book or not, solidifying Oscar as a contact could lead to a film-centric life for me beyond Wiley’s. Possibility balloons around me.
“Fantastic. It’s been a pleasure meeting you.” He checks his Apple Watch. “I have a car waiting for me, but thank you again, Dr. Tanson, for arranging all of this. I’ve loved my time here on your campus.” He fishes into his expensive-looking brown leather wallet marked with a fleur-de-lis and produces a business card. I didn’t know people still had these. It’s glossy and pointy and professional. “Be in touch should you gather any new intel, and please send me your capstone paper. I’d be thrilled to read it.”
I stand there, stupefied. Is this what Mateo meant by letting life be life?
Dr. Tanson ushers me into her spotless, colorful office with a sly smile. We chat for another hour about her sneaky ways, her faith in me, and how much I’m going to miss her sarcastic yet encouraging comments in the margins of my double-spaced papers. I might not miss the stress of academic life, but I will miss the amazing people I met moving through it.
On my walk back to 3B, I pop in my headphones. Despite Derick’s abrupt reappearance in my life, I’m going to make the best of this summer. More than that, I’m going to make thishappen. A big event like Alice’s could build buzz and bring in sales. It could be the start of something big for me—something more important than a one-sided love story.
An almost-kiss may have almost killed me then, but I’m stronger now.
At least, I think I am.
I’m going to have to be.
Chapter 6
“Did someone die?” Mateo asks on the drive over to orientation day at the lot.
