Jensen stills. “You haven’t slept with anyone? No one at all?”
I shake my head. “Haven’t in over two years, actually. There’s a deeper reasoning for not wanting to have a relationship, so unless it was abundantly clear all the way that it was nothing more than a one-night thing then it wasn’t happening.”
I can practically see the wheels turning in her head. I dare another step closer. “Jensen, let me be more clear. I didn’t sleep with anyone for a year and three months for that reason—I haven’t slept with anyone for the past nine months because I met you.”
Her eyes widen a bit. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but that makes it sound like our situation is a little more…unclear.”
Clear as fucking mud.
“Yeah, you’re really fucking with my head, Killer.”
“Right back at ya.” Jensen folds her arms across her chest with a small sigh. “I can’t completely disregard the fact that I do feel something for you, but I don’t want a relationship right now either. I know yours seems more of a long-term thing, and eventually I will want to find love. So, for now…”
“Now, we get it out of our system.”
“We get it out of our system,” Jensen parrots, then purses her lips. “Roommates with benefits, I guess?”
I repeat her this time. “Roommates with benefits. No attachments, and we keep the same ground rule—communicate with each other.”
Jensen stands up straighter. “I’m adding a no kissing rule to that.”
I quirk an eyebrow, that seemed to have a little bit of thought behind it. “Interesting rule…”
“Other places are fine, but don’t kiss me on the lips. I told you, there’s a little more for me here. We need to keep this purely sexual. Neither of us want more, right?”
I nod, understanding a bit more of what she’s getting at.
“Much to my dismay, I’m a romantic at heart. You kiss me and if it’s the slightest bit romantic, I’ll be fucked.”
I’ve never considered what it would be like to look my soul in the mirror, but I swear I am right now. I’ve called Jensen my polar opposite before, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I get her point. Kissing her at the bar tonight would have been catastrophic, because if I had, I’m not so sure the romantic in me would ever let her go.
“Got it, no romance. No candles or flowers. No fancy dates, just us as we normally are, plus sex.”
At that, it’s like what we’ve been talking about registers to her. She lets out a nervous laugh. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this. This is insane.” Jensen holds her hands up and retreats to the living room. “We can’t actually do this, can we?”
Following her, I can’t find it in me to slow down until my hands are on her waist and spinning her back around to face me. “Jen, we don’t have to, if you don’t want to. I want to try, but if it’s a no for you, then it’s a no. I’ll still be here for you no matter what you want.”
Jensen’s eyes pull from mine as she whispers. “Can I think about it?”
“Of course,” I answer without a pause. Moving my hands to her face, I bring her back to focus on me. All the struggle is shown in her eyes. I don’t ever want to be a form of stress for her.
So, I do the one thing I know to do. Annoy her.
With my signature smile I let go of her face and turn my hat around backward. “Does this help any?”
Her eyes roll immediately, taking the bait. “Beck, don’t.”
She gives me a quick push back, but I’m not done. “Oh, come on, we still have the classic debate on if I’m pierced or not.”
Jensen shakes her head and even though she’s starting to walk away I see that smile tugging at her lips. “Good night, Beckham.”
I wait for her to hit the stairs before I keep going. “Oh, come on, we can do missionary first so we can still argue. It’s perfect for us.”
Jensen doesn’t say anything until she hits the top of the stairs. She looks back with a smirk. “We’ll see, Stalker.”
Chapter 18
