I move slowly over to the spot on the couch next to her, but when I look at her I see the stress. I see the want, but also so much fear.
“Alright, then let’s do it.”
Jensen runs a hand over her face with a groan. “You can’t say it like that, Beck.”
“Like what?” I deflect. I know how that sounded and part of me wants to take it back, but damn, I want to help her have whatever she wants.
Jensen tosses her hands up. “Like it’s a group decision. I don’t know how else to say this, because I know you’re trying to be supportive, but the choice to go through with this or not doesn’t technically concern you.”
I get that it doesn’t—or, well, it shouldn’t—concern me, but…it’s Jensen. There’s constantly what feels like this pit in my stomach, but when I’m around her it’s not that bad. I know her moving in could lead to some dangerous territory, and I really should stop…but again, it’s her.
I can’t give her a relationship, even if she wanted it, but I can give her this. I don’t have to be her knight in shining armor taking over everything, but I can help enough that she doesn’t have to feel like it’s going to consume her.
I hate that I’m about to use her current situation against her, but it’s the card I have to play. “Okay, then what’s your plan, Jen? Please fill me in on how you’re going to find a new apartment, pay rent, work at Winedown, and figure out this store with Reagan.”
Jensen pushes off from the couch, and Dottie jumps up, becoming her shadow as she paces. “I don’t know, Beck! Why do you get an answer, huh? I get that this is a weird situation, and I get that I’ve needed you a lot more than I normally do these past few days, but I am very capable. I made that insane rent raise work, didn’t I? I can figure it all out on my own.”
I almost laugh, because of course she can figure it out on her own, but she doesn’t have to. Now to trick her into letting me do that.
Don’t scare her, I remind myself.
I lean back on the couch, crossing my ankle over my knee. “You’re right, you are capable of doing it on your own. You don’t have to take my thoughts or input on it. I’m not owed an answer or plan, but what about your questions?”
Jensen stops her pacing. “W-what questions?”
“Your thoughts on this, Jen. Your pros and cons. I’m not saying plan because the plan isn’t even on the table right now. Your whys for even wanting to do this. Talk it out with me, let me be your neutral party. I’ll play devil’s advocate or just listen, if that will be more helpful.”
I’m not entirely sure what emotion crosses her face, but when she lets out a breath, she whispers, “That’s what I usually call my sister for.”
“Do you want to call your sister?” I offer with a shrug. Doesn’t have to be me, but I don’t want her stressing herself out.
She bites at her lip and shakes her head. “No, I guess you’ll work.”
I try to maintain my giddy, but it slips through a bit as I pat the spot of the couch she vacated. “Come on, Jenni-cakes, let’s get into it.”
She groans, but does what I say. “You’re going to make me regret this, aren’t you?”
“Not my intention, I only want to help.” I pat the middle space between us next for Dottie to lie down. “Okay, let’s say you want to go in with Reagan, what would you need to do next?”
“Well, a combination of things, I guess.” Jensen groans. “A lot of things would need to happen all at once, essentially.”
“That’s a bit dramatic,” I tease, only to spark a bit of that spite in her.
“I’m not being dramatic! I have the required licenses, but I’ll have to get with Reagan on the building inspections, get with the health department—not to mention, the things that I would need for it to be a functioning shop. If I went and worked at someone else’s place, I would be responsible for my ink, my machine, and other small things, but with this I’m responsible for all of it. Every little detail.”
Nodding along as she talks, I work on a mental list. “Okay, so, from the way Reagan talks about her job—she’s not fucking around with her side of the business. I imagine she’s got the connections and plans for all things the health and state departments could throw at you guys. Cals has you on the financial side, she’d love to use that degree for something she believes in. So, the bright side is, none of those aspects you’ll have to navigate alone.
“Now, to play the devil’s advocate…Reagan is strong-willed. I don’t imagine she’d be the easiest to work with, but you’re not exactly a pushover, Killer.” I nudge her as she rolls her eyes. “Off the pitch, do you think you could work with Reagan?”
“I can’t believe I’m actually talking this out with you.” Jensen pulls her knees up to her chest and sighs. “Yeah, I think we’d be fine. I know Reagan can be a bit of a bitch, but she’s also smart and business-minded. Once settled, our roles would be so hands-off on the other’s thing, I don’t see us not staying in our own lanes moving forward.”
“Okay, that solves that problem pretty easily. Now, as for your setup—what do you have already?”
“I have all the basics.” She shrugs.
I tilt my head. “Are you this tight-lipped when talking to your sister? I got to say, I may have a new apprec?—”
“Okay, fine,” Jensen cuts me off while running her hands through her hair. “Okay, let me try to do this without spiraling. Doing this with Reagan means a really high up-front cost.Getting all the furniture, complete set up, not to mention maintaining and growing my ink supply. Then there’s a ton of other small things to stay on top of: needles, skin wraps, Vaseline, rubbing alcohol, the list is long. I’ll probably need another pen based on design needs. Then there’s stuff I would need for piercings.”
