I nod. “I know he did.” That’s what makes it worse.
A part of me will always love him. The other part is coated in layers of disappointment and hurt. I wanted him to live so he could witness what his greed caused.
I think I hold on to my anger because what else do I have? Letting go would mean I’d stop blaming him and run out of excuses to overcome the past. It’s time, though. The resentment has brought me nothing but more sorrow and an excuse not to live my life as I wished to. Afraid it would never go after my desire, anyway.
“What are you reading?” I ask, needing to change the topic.
She nods more to herself and with a smile, she says, “It’s a Mafia romance.”
I roll my eyes at her, and she giggles. “Bad or good people. We are all loved by someone. And that’s the tragedy…”
I feel my brows furrow. “Being loved?”
“Loving.”
Her words ring in my ears with irrefutable truth as I walk toward my bedroom.
Inside my closet, my bags and jewelry collection greet me. I just had to look at something longer, and I would receive it that same day. From my personal guard to the sellers tracking my move in the stores, I never had to tell Mika what I wanted. Somehow he always knew. He has given me whatever I desired as if making up for the one thing he could never give me. Now he has. All this material stuff fades in comparison.
The gifts never quite healed the gaping, pulsing wound in my heart. They just made my pain bearable.
Changing into a loose linen shirt dress, I slip on some trainers.
I should rehearse for my concert on Saturday, but it’s still four days away. I am too hyped. Too wired to sit still. So instead, I go out and search for Kill.
Lorenzo glances at me with a knowing look that sends a shiver of apprehension down my spine. It has been an unspoken rule that no one interacts with me. At the beginning, it was the only way to keep the demons at bay. Now it’s more of a routine.
It was a guard I trusted who delivered me straight to Igor. So yeah, I am still leery of people, but I can’t deny that Lorenzo is perhaps the one man who is incorruptible. He is loyal to a fault—to my brother.
“You’re taking fabulous care of Kill. Thank you.”
He nods, silently watching over the dog and me. A sentinel that assures nothing bad could happen to me.
“I’ll take him for a stroll.”
He nods again, and I rush to say, “I was at the city hall practicing, then I met with my agent for drinks. It got too late, so I slept at her place.”
He gives me an intense look, not calling me out on my lie, which makes it even harder for me.
“I’m here to keep you safe, Miss Ferrara. And so is the other boss, who surely knows what he does—keeping the boss’s sister safe and untouched from danger.”
Heknows.It’s crystal clear, and sweat gathers on my forehead.
He inhales a deep breath, and his eyes cast in wisdom find mine. “Dahlia, it’s great that you’re stepping out of your shell. It was a long time coming. But our actions have consequences. And if the boss asks me what I have seen, I can’t lie.”
“I would never ask you that,” I blurt, preferring not to keep lying.
Nothing is happening would be the worst one. And accusing Lorenzo of imagining things would be plain insulting.
He jerks his chin. “Good luck with your practice.”
For a moment, I believe he’s talking about something completely different, but I shake my head. Paranoia must make me see things.
With Kill strolling by my side, we go on a long walk before we stop by the pond. He stares at the koi, his paw stretching toward the water.
I move my index finger from left to right in a no sign. “Don’t even think about it.”
He looks at me with those innocent black eyes before he plops next to me as if telling me he’s mad at me for stopping him.
