I don’t feel like myself anymore. I have become his entirely.
This is not my home. It’s with him. My place is next to him. My home is wherever he is.
I climb the stairs, dragging a heaviness that almost roots me in place. Each step reminds me that he has been inside me. My pussy, my ass, my body thoroughly owned.
Opening the door, I come face-to-face with my mother. She blinks at me, and I feel the heat rushing to my cheeks.
I’ve never slept anywhere else.
In my family, we leave each other alone. None of us is big on talking about what goes on inside of us. The lives we lead demand a certain stoicism. We wear our wounds on the inside, never expressing them.
“Hi, Mom,” I say meekly, and she reaches me with tentative steps.
Overcome by emotions, tears escape my eyes, rolling down my cheeks.
In an instant, she wraps me in a motherly hug. “Oh, mia figlia bella…”
It’s not a reprimand, but simply pain for me.
“Be careful. Our desires tend to overwhelm us, and we forget there are more important things.”
“Why does it have to be like this, Mom. I just…” My voice breaks.
She takes my face between her hands, and I look sideways. “I’m sorry, Dahlia. Maybe…”
Yes, maybe.
With the back of my hand, I brush the tears away, and she says, “Come join me in the sitting room.”
I follow her inside, glancing at the picture of the four of us from happier times hanging on the opposite wall. There was a time when I worshipped my father. In my eyes, he could do no wrong. I wonder what he would feel knowing he caused his only daughter so much misery.
Greed is the root of all evil, setting off a chain of reactions that affects everyone around you.
Revenge is the payment. My father paid with his life. My mother will probably never overcome her grief. My brother had to become a man without a soul to ensure his power. And me? I paid for it with my innocence. It was my blood coating that dirty warehouse floor.
Both sides lost because of greed. Revenge could have ruined everything. It was Mika who ended that vicious cycle by killing his own father.
He never blamed me or my brother. He’s an honorable man. Even though it was the blood coursing through my veins that cost him his biggest loss. He grew up without a mother. He thought his sister had died. And while she’s alive, I wonder ifCalla would have become the woman she is today if things were different. We’ll never know, and it’s all because of my father.
Maybe that’s why I don’t get to enjoy more than brief moments of happiness. My blood is tainted.
And with my father gone, it’s my curse to carry.
“You loved him so much,” my mom says softly, pulling me from the reverie.
“What did he do that was so awful for you to…?” She can’t even bring herself to say it.
I sigh, the deep sound echoing with pain. “I don’t hate him, but wish he were the man I thought him to be.”
“No one truly is,” she tries.
While he was the hero in my story, he became the villain in the life of the man I love.
“Do you think Mika is a good man?” she asks, always trying to protect her husband. But are any of us truly good? I don’t know.
Slumping in the seat next to her, I shrug. “He’s good to me.”
“So was your father. Life is too short, too unpredictable to hold grudges. Your father loved you. So very much.”
