Taking a deep breath, I get into the car, shut the door, and let the silence envelop me like a too-tight blanket.
Eric is in trouble. Mak is furious. Andrea is depending on me. And I am sitting here, gripping the steering wheel again, wondering how my life became so tangled. Coming here was supposed tofixthings.
Sadness floods through me, sudden and heavy. For Eric, for myself, for the life I thought I’d be building. For the man I shouldn’t want and can’t ignore. For the truth that is slowly strangling my sense of normal.
I pull out of the parking spot and drive, the sunset bleeding across the sky like something wounded.
And for the first time in years, I feel hollow.
Small.
And very, very alone.
Chapter 16
Makari
Roxanne sits three chairs down from me, and I can feel the distance she’s trying to keep between us. The distance that didn’t exist a few days ago. Her shoulder doesn’t brush mine when she reaches for her pen, and her eyes don’t flick toward me the way they usually do. She’s performing composure so well it’s nearly insulting.
I know why. So, this shouldn’t bother me. I should be able to shrug it off, play the same game, and either wait for her to come to me again or move on. But she’s like the drug I’d been searching for and never found.
Knowingwhyshe’s avoiding my leveled gaze doesn’t settle me. It leaves me tense and wired.
She told me. Andrea is mine. I have a child, adaughter.It still boggles my mind, and her words haven’t stopped echoing in my skull since she said them.
Every time I blink, I see her face. The hesitation. The fear. The cautious calculation. Like she wasn’t sure if I would break, retaliate, or walk away. The thought that she might have considered it, sours and twists my guts.
I wouldnever.
But how would she know that? What have you shown her to make her feel safe? You just keep fucking her, claiming her, letting her trail after you… why would she trust me with our daughter?
Now she won’t even look at me in this goddamn meeting.
Lauren is talking; she’s been talking for the last ten minutes, but I’ve retained almost nothing. My attention keeps slipping sideways to the way Roxy sits so still, how she writes something down in her notebook without once glancing up, her hand moving slowly, deliberately.
Jesse sits on the other side of the conference table, flipping through a stack of reports with all the subtlety of a man who hates paperwork and would rather be back in the field. Or rather, the woods. He senses the strain in the room, but Jesse’s never been one to comment on emotional tension he can’t shoot at. Lauren, on the other hand, is too sharp.
“…so the increase in foot traffic near the Western Corridor,” Lauren continues, tapping a map on the screen, “means we may want to up surveillance there, even if?—”
“Fine,” I say. Too sharp. I hear it. They hear it.
Lauren’s eyes flick to me for half a second, surprised, but she recovers quickly. “All right. And the Board would like?—”
“Later,” I grunt. “Send me the full report.”
She stops. Nods. Senses me shutting down.
Roxy lifts her eyes to Lauren, then back to her notes, but not once does she look at me. I should be glad. It’s better this way. Cleaner. Professional. So why does it feel like my blood is simmering?
Jesse clears his throat, leaning back in his chair with a groan. “As for operations out near the South Base, we’ve got?—”
I wave him on. I’m listening, but only in fragments. I am more interested in the woman three seats down. The one who looks like she’s building a wall one brick at a time. The one whogave me life-changing information, and then walked away like my reaction didn’t matter.
Our daughter.She has wide, inquisitive eyes and my chin; I can see it now. I’m not sure which of us she inherited that from? Once I would’ve said me alone, but Roxanne has grown into a strong, beautiful woman.
The moment Jesse finishes his update, Roxy closes her notebook.
“I need to check on the house,” she says quietly. Polite and controlled. “My things are being delivered today, and Andrea’s are arriving tonight.”
