“Yes. Zayn even tried to investigate, but the last we heard she was in the United States. We found nothing more besides that.”
“You’re very brave, if I may say so. You gave up everything to follow your heart.”
“Yes, but living in a different culture from ours is not easy, Madeline. That’s why we’re having this conversation.”
“I know I’ll have to leave much of what I know behind.”
“Do you intend to convert?”
“I haven’t thought about it yet.”
“No problem. You can decide later.”
“Is that what you did?”
“Yes, but not because Zayn asked me to. It was because I assimilated the culture and beliefs of the people of Sintarah, to the point that they became who I am.”
“Don’t you miss your old life?”
“I can hardly remember it. Except . . .”
“What?”
“The dances. The people of Sintarah love festivities too, but mine were free, you know? Our joy was cultural. It’s part of who we are.”
I smile. “You used the present tense.”
“I think deep in my soul I will never stop being a Romani, but a Romani tamed by love.”
“You could have left after he passed away.”
“Yes, I could have, but you know what true freedom is, Madeline? It has nothing to do with the possibility of surrounding ourselves with walls; it’s the right to make our own choices even when there are no walls limiting us.”
“Can love be a wall?”
“Is that what you feel for my son? Love?” she asks instead of answering me.
“Yes. I’m in love with Kamal, or I would never have agreed to marry him.”
“I shouldn’t give you advice, but I’ll do it anyway.”
“Please do.”
“I love my son, but he was raised differently from other people. Since he was a little boy, he’s been used to people granting his every wish because he was born to order and to be obeyed. But you’re not his subject—you’ll be his wife, mother of his heirs. Never neglect yourself for whoever they may be, not even for your love of him. True love doesn’t subjugate another.”
“I don’t think he loves me.”
“I won’t meddle between you two—both of you have to figure out your own feelings—but I can tell you that my son has a reason to be so distrustful and standoffish.”
“Is it related to his ex-fiancée?”
“He told you about Hiba?”
“Only that she took her own life.”
“She did, and I think Kamal never forgave her for that.”
“Was there a reason for her to commit suicide?”
