I try to convince myself that it’s better to know right away whether I’m pregnant or not, but I can’t pretend that the idea of being a mother doesn’t terrify me. I mean, I’ve dreamed of starting my own family one day, but I thought it would be at least five years before that happened.
“Yes, Miss Turner. As soon as we have the results, we will text you the confirmation. You can decide whether you want to get it by email or if we should send it through a courier.”
Kamal is not with me, which is a relief. He had a last-minute meeting, and as much as I noticed that he’s just as nervous as me, probably for the same reasons, he couldn’t miss the commitment.
“I prefer to get it by email, thank you.”
“As you wish.” He gathers his things and leaves the room. I walk to the window to see the city I’m starting to love, feeling the buzz of the hustle and bustle, typical of the start of a new week.
“Was everything okay with the blood draw, Madeline?”
I startle because I didn’t hear anyone come in. When I turn around, Adil, Kamal’s advisor, is standing by the door.
Strangely, I feel more comfortable with him than with the Sheikh’s brothers. Adil always seems calm, as if nothing in the world could shake him. He’s not like the three members of the Hafeez Shariq Najjar Shadid family, with their latent combativeness resembling hunters ready to pounce.
“Yes, it was. Thank you for arranging a medical team so quickly, Adil.”
He closes the door behind him and takes a step inside. “It’s my duty to make Sheikh Kamal’s life easier, Madeline. And to avoid any kind of gossip. In the wrong lab, this matter between you two could turn into a scandal.”
“I’m nervous,” I confess because he’s the kind of person who makes you feel at ease. I understand why Kamal, who is so distrustful, considers him a friend. Adil is extremely loyal and devoted to his boss.
“If you’re expecting the heir, His Excellency, Sheikh Kamal, will take responsibility for both of you.”
Responsibility.
The word feels like acid in my stomach.
That’s what I’ll be to him, even if I become his wife. Not the love of his life, or his life companion, but a responsibility that will only last longer than the others due to a pregnancy.
“You’re worried,” he says.
“Very much so.”
“Don’t be. Perhaps it was fate. It was about time for Ka—for His Excellency to start a family.”
But I don’t know if it was the right time for me, I want to say, but my loyalty to Kamal stops me.
I stare at the man who might be closer to my boyfriend than his own brothers. I know he’s trying to be kind and make me relax, but I still feel suffocated.
I nod in agreement, then I grab my bag. “It was nice seeing you again, Adil.”
“Are you going somewhere that His Excellency should be informed of, Madeline?”
“No. Just to the café on the first floor,” I lie.
I leave the room before he can ask more questions and avoid the elevator, heading straight for the stairs; otherwise, I’ll run into the bodyguards.
If Kamal finds out that I’m leaving the building, he’ll send a bunch of them to watch me, and I want to be alone.
I barely notice the steps, my head spinning, and suddenly I’m already on the streets.
I wave for a taxi and ask to be taken to the Tate Modern. Then I turn off my phone.
I need to think. In just a few hours, the life I know might change completely. In order to stay true to myself, I have to come up with a plan of survival in case something goes wrong.
As the cab drives through the streets of London, I look outside the window without really seeing anything. Dazed, lost. When I arrived in England, I had many plans, and now they might all boil down to a loveless marriage because of a child conceived recklessly by their parents.
Three hours later, anxiety consumes me. I turn my phone back on.
