My thoughts drift to George. The thought of him used to stir strong feelings in me, anticipation, longing, a warm flutter in my belly. But now? When I think of him, I feel nothing. Absolutelynothing. I hold his image in my mind for a moment, and all I feel is emptiness and a strange sense of irrelevance. I see now how little I must have meant to him. How much he took me for granted. Only now that he thinks I have moved on, he wants me back. So, I have what I thought I wanted, what I fought tooth and nail for. And yet, the idea of returning to him leaves me cold.
And the thought of going to bed with him again. Oh God, no. Not the same missionary position all over again … for the rest of my life.
The reality of my situation hits me with brutal clarity. All those weeks of wishing and hoping now feel hollow and wasted. Even silly. Sandra and Lucy were right all along. It was stubbornness, pride, and ignorance that kept me going. I didn’t know how it could be. For the first time, I’ve tasted what a real connection should feel like. I’ve glimpsed what love should be, and it isn’t George. It is Rhett. Rhett, with his quiet strength, his teasing grin, the way he notices things, the way he sees me, really sees me. And that realization is both exhilarating and terrifying.
I shake my head in wonder as I pack another item into the suitcase.
But what does it matter now? I can’t. I can’t have him. I don’t fit into his world. I’m Pippa Fairfax, a freelance graphic designer who is messy, sometimes clumsy, and if truth be told, a little bit too loud for his polished circles. I had one job at that wedding, one role to play – the loving girlfriend who wouldn’t get attached and wouldn’t embarrass him - and I failed spectacularly at it. I got attached, and I embarrassed him. I became the joke of the wedding. I was the laughing stock, and everyone, even his family, saw it.
The one good thing to come from this sad mess is that I now know I don’t want George, and that means I can move on with my life. I don’t have to be hung up on the past anymore. It’s notmuch comfort right now, but I think it might mean more to me in the not-too-distant future.
I close the suitcase lid with a snap and press my hands against it while I tug the zipper around it. The sound seems louder and more final than it should. It echoes in the quiet house. I’ve gathered up my things, and with them, I feel like I’m trying to gather up what is left of myself after this whirlwind love affair. I’ve made choices, I’ve walked away, and I’ve lost something I didn’t even know I wanted until it was gone.
I bump my suitcase inelegantly down the stairs and roll it to the front door, the wheels squeaking loudly on the floor. I pause, my hand on the handle of the front door, and take one last look around. The house is still and empty, and yet it feels heavy with memories, with the weight of what could have been. I squeeze my eyes shut and tell myself it’s fine. I’ll be fine. Then, I step outside. The cool night air washes over me. I start toward the car. Each step feels measured, deliberate, a physical echo of the emotional control I’m trying to cling to.
I am almost at the car. The chauffeur has got out of the car to help with my suitcase. I head for the trunk so he can put my suitcase in. My fingers tighten around the handle of my suitcase. This is it. The final step, the point of no return. I glance toward the road, toward the dark horizon where the airport awaits.
And then I hear a voice, a blast from the past, calling out my name.
Chapter Forty
Pippa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSPpbOGnFgk
-be my baby-
I spin around. The last person I expect to see is Max, but there he is, striding toward me along the driveway.
“Pippa,” he says again, as he reaches me, his voice cutting through the quiet night. “Come back to the wedding.”
I look at him, astonished. “Is that your idea of a joke?”
“No. It’s not my idea of a joke. I’ve come to bring you back.”
“Which part don’t you get? Don’t you understand what just happened?”
“What happened?” he asks.
“I just humiliated myself in front of Rhett’s best friends, his parents, his entire social circle. I embarrassed him publicly. There’s no coming back from that.”
Max tilts his head, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Are you kidding me? Pippa, there isn’t a man at that wedding who doesn’t have a hard-on for you after that. You really thinkanyone at all is thinking you should be embarrassed? Trust me, no one is thinking that. You just became a legend.”
I stare at him, incredulous. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am,” he replies firmly.
But I shake my head. I’m not falling for his sweet words. “It’s not just the embarrassing video. You were all nice to my face, smiling, chatting with me, welcoming me, but really, you were all laughing at me behind my back. I was the joke. The ridiculous Jessica Rabbit clip was just the punchline. I don’t belong here. I don’t fit in. I’ve never been a part of this world, and now everyone has seen me make a complete fool of myself in it.”
Max sighs, running a hand through his hair. He looks at me, his gaze steady and sincere. “Pippa, none of that is true. Not one bit. Maria chose the clips. She picked that video because she loved it. She thought it was brilliant, funny, and yes, adorable. She wasn’t trying to make you look bad. She wanted everyone to see how bold and hilarious you are. It’s exactly the sort of thing she would do.”
There is some truth to what he is saying. That is exactly the kind of thing that Maria would find funny. But Maria is a one-off. Other people are not like her. I shake my head, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t … I’m sorry, I have to go. I have a flight to catch.”
Max’s eyebrows shoot up, shocked. “Why? Why would you leave? To start with, Rhett had nothing to do with the selection. And more importantly, I’ve never seen Rhett like this. Never. He’s completely and totally in love with you. It’s sick bucket stuff the way he dotes on you.”
A small, bitter smile curves my lips. “No, he’s not. It was all an act. To scare Vanessa off. None of it is real.”
Max blinks at me, confusion etched across his face. “What do you mean?”
