I blow out a sharp breath. “I wish. Maybe that’s what I need.”
He studies me, the twinkling Christmas lights on the porch, lighting his face up. “Want to talk about it?”
At one time, I feel like I would have confided my darkest secrets to our neighbor friend. Too much time has passed,though. There’s a divide now and I don’t even know how to bridge it.
The door opens behind me and I whirl around to find Clara frowning.
“Hey,” she says, waving to James. Then, she turns to me. “It’s all good, Eric. Relax.”
I bore my gaze into her, aching to go to her for a comforting hug. Swallowing thickly, I nod instead. “Okay. Be there in a sec. Catching up with an old friend.”
“You look stunning, Clara,” James says. “In case no one told you today.”
She smiles. “Thank you, and you’re not the first person to tell me.”
James chuckles as she closes the door. “Still fiery that one.”
“Yup,” I croak out as I turn to look at him.
His eyebrows pinch together and he steps closer to me. “When are you two going to get together? I keep thinking one day I’ll get an invite to the wedding.”
I freeze and gape at him. “W-what are you talking about?”
He snorts. “I’m not a dumbass, Eric. You two have always been in love.”
“We have not,” I blurt out, denial dripping from my words. “Don’t be a dick.”
“I’m not being a dick,” James says, voice firm. “And you are. I just saw it again with my very own two eyes. It’s never been that obvious before, but it’s always been there.”
“You’ve got it all wrong,” I rasp out, unable to look him in the eye. “She’s my stepsister. We can’t be together.”
He takes another step and squeezes my shoulder. “You’re trembling. It’s cold out here and you don’t have a coat on. Go inside, man.”
I swallow hard, hating how my eyes burn with emotion. “I can’t breathe in there.”
“You have to,” James says softly. “You have to face it head-on.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to imagine what that would look like. Painful. Horrifying. Awful. Loving Clara shouldn’t mean losing the rest of my family, but it’s exactly what would happen.
How can my family forgive me for such a travesty?
They can’t. They won’t.
We can’t do this.
Clara
Ineed to speak to Eric.
He’s freaking out, understandably, but I want to let him know I handled it. The girls aren’t going to say anything. I promised them a trip to the mall and ice cream after if they “don’t tell Mom and Dad about me and Eric testing out the mistletoe.”
I know he’s losing it because he’s avoided me the whole party, sticking to my mom’s side when she needs him to handle food stuff, and disappearing when she doesn’t. James has followed him around, offering whispered words to him every chance he gets, and I’m curious to what he’s saying.
If only I could get Eric alone.
Last time, you ended up making out with him and getting caught by your sisters…
The party is chaotic. Adults and children are everywhere. Mike is the life of the party, telling all his funniest tales we’ve heard a thousand times. Mom rushes around making sure all her guests are happy and enjoying themselves. Anytime Ruthie or Layla see me or Eric, they giggle out of control.
