She didn’t do any of that. She just silently wept as I clicked the fob that turned on the red blinking light and the GPS tracker.
Something twisted in my gut, but I ignored it.
She was only ever supposed to be a pawn, the means to her mother’s compliance, nothing more.
She was nothing more.
But if that were true, why did her silence twist the knife in my gut far more than her arguing or her begging ever could? Her quietness broke through every wall I had built around myself.
There were so many questions circling in my head.
Was what I was doing to her worse than what her mother did?
Why wasn’t she fighting me?
Had our night together broken something inside of her?
These questions swarmed in my head, but I refused to let them show on my face. I refused to let anything show on my face.Doubt was weakness. I told myself it was because I wasn’t feeling anything. I wore that mask not to hide my emotions but because I didn’t have emotions.
Another lie.
Lying to myself was a new habit I needed to shake. Really, it was because I didn’t want to let her know that this was hurting me too, because there was nothing I could do to change it. I would not give her that false hope.
Not after we had that night together, not after the sex that somehow felt like more than sex. And not after having dressed her in one of my T-shirts and a pair of my lounge pants. That small softness, and my reaction to the way she looked in my clothes, had already cost me more than I liked. I couldn’t afford to let any of it show.
The worst thing I could do was give this woman some semblance of security or the idea that she had some power over me. I did not tolerate weaknesses, so I could not let her think she was mine.
Keeping my expression completely neutral, forcing my grip to be steady, I grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to face me. Lifting the collar of the shirt and letting the diamonds fall beneath it.
“Now, go home and live your life. Do nothing out of the ordinary. Behave, and this will all be over soon. And remember,maya soloveyka, I am watching, and if you try anything, I’ll know.”
She met my eyes for a minute, and I thought she might finally tell me everything she was holding back, but she just nodded and turned on her heel and left.
Without a single word, she just left.
That was exactly what I always wanted a woman to do after a night of sex with no strings, no expectations. So why did this leave a hollow feeling in my chest?
As soon as the door closed, I turned and went back into the bedroom. Her dress was still draped over a chair.
The air still held warmth from her presence, and it clung to me like a curse.
On an impulse that I didn’t understand, I picked up the silky fabric, running it between my fingers and then lifted it to my face to breathe in deeply.
She didn’t have it on long enough for the fibers to absorb the scent from her skin, but it still carried her perfume, the silky-sweet smell of apples and dark flowers.
I pulled it away from my face, disgusted with my own twisted sentimental bullshit.
It was just a dress, and she was just a girl.
Instead of hanging it up on its own rack, I put it with my suits. Hidden but kept close. Pathetic.
Before I could figure out why I hung it there, or yank it back out like it burned me, there was a loud banging on my door.
For a fraction of a second, my heart beat faster, and I wondered if it was her. A dangerous hope.
Kostya barged in, directing a few of the hotel staff who pushed Queen Mary carts.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked my nephew, already irritated that he caught me off-balance.
