‘Oh, Declan, I am so sorry,’ said Jess, instinctively taking her hand in his. ‘Did she…?’
‘Die? Yes.’ He nodded. ‘Ketamine. She reacted badly. I hadn’t even realised she had moved on to that kind of stuff.’
He shook the picture from his mind of her lying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines.
‘So you see, when I told the police about what happened, even though every word of it was true, I had a really hard time getting them to believe me. The jury too.’ He sighed. ‘In the end, I didn’t get a more serious prison sentence, but if I had, I’m not sure I’d have blamed them, given the circumstances.’
‘I take it there was no CCTV or dashcam footage?’ asked Jess. She could not begin to imagine what Declan and his family must have gone through.
‘There was a camera further along the road that captured nothing. Dashcam wasn’t such a big thing back then. Maybe if it was, the jury would have seen Tony talking on his phone and not looking where he was going.’ He pushed away the picture of Tony falling to the ground. The one that had given him nightmares.
It all felt like too much to process. Declan had served time in prison for killing someone. Could Jess be certain he was telling her the truth about it being an accident? She thought once more of Maisie lying innocently in her bed, oblivious to the evils of the outside world.
She prayed that she would be a happy teenager and not remotely interested in drugs. All she could do as a parent would be to advise her daughter and be there for her, as she imagined Declan’s mother was. It was hard to imagine the pain Declan’s mother must have endured, losing a daughter and a son too when he served his prison sentence.
Jess needed to get her head around the news that Declan had just imparted.
‘I know this is a lot to take in,’ said Declan, reading her thoughts. ‘So I will go now. I just thought you deserved the truth,’ he told her as he stood to leave.
At the door he stopped and searched her eyes. ‘I like being around you, Jess, and I hope I haven’t screwed things up. But I don’t want any secrets between us,’ he said, and despite the revelation she still felt something stir inside her when he stood close.
‘I appreciate it.’ She smiled.
‘Well, I will leave you to it. I know it’s a lot to get your head around, but I promise you it was an accident. Anyway, goodnight, Jess. Thanks for giving me a chance to explain,’ he said, wondering if she would ever go out with him again.
‘Goodnight, Declan.’
After he left, Jess topped up her glass and sat staring into space from the sofa, until the sky outside darkened and she stood to close the curtains. Declan’s secret was huge, but how many of us harboured secrets, however small?
FORTY-NINE
JESS
Jess supposed she ought to have spoken to her mother first, but she knew she would only have worried about her. Besides, she had enough going on in her own personal life right now.
Instead, after mulling over Declan’s bombshell all week, she dropped Maisie off at a school friend’s party on Saturday afternoon and invited Alice over for a cup of tea. She would have suggested a walk to a local café but did not want anyone listening in on their conversation.
‘This is a nice surprise,’ said Alice, taking a seat on the sofa in Jess’s stylish lounge.
She felt momentarily guilty at having one of the garden flats as Jess was living here with a young child, but maybe that would change in the future.
It occurred to Jess that it was the first time Alice had been inside her flat and vowed to do it again. Alice had become a good friend.
‘I probably should have asked you over before now,’ she told Alice truthfully, as she placed some tea and shop-bought fruit cake down in front of her. ‘And I will do in the future, but today I need your advice about something, whilst Maisie isn’t here.’
‘Well, whatever the reason, I am pleased to be invited.’ Alice smiled. ‘And your flat is beautiful. You certainly have an eye for décor,’ she said kindly as she glanced around the cosy room.
‘Thank you.’
‘So what is on your mind?’ asked Alice as she sipped tea from a chunky grey mug, rather than her usual bone china cup.
‘I hardly know where to start.’ Jess sighed, taking a seat on a chair opposite her. ‘It’s about Declan.’
‘Declan?’ Alice frowned slightly. ‘Has something happened?’
‘You could say that,’ said Jess. ‘We were getting along really well, and our date was fantastic.’ She smiled briefly. ‘But then he went cold on me. I thought it was strange when he said a quick goodnight, and it seemed he couldn’t get away quick enough.’
‘I see,’ said Alice, giving no indication that Declan had already mentioned the disastrous ending to their date. She wondered whether he had written Jess a note, as she had suggested.
