He’d do it, I know.
But I can’t ask him.
Can’t keep trying to depend on him.
I’m afraid it will only disappoint and hurt us both more.
So, I give Nick a pinched frown and head for Felix’s trailer, since he’s not working until later either and I need, belatedly, to show him I do still trust him.
That I know I can depend on him.
‘Don’t you dare,’ I say to him, when he opens his door and, seeing me, draws breath, without doubt to apologise again. ‘You’ve said it too much. So have I. But I keep messing up, and I really am sorry for being so awful.’
‘I deserved it.’
‘You didn’t. You were trying to help.’
‘Pretty ineptly.’
‘It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have let it matter. You’re one of the most important people in my life, and I haven’t deservedyou, but –’ I grimace – ‘I do need a favour.’
His eyebrows shoot up. ‘A favour?’
‘I know, it’s rich, but –’ I hold out my letter – ‘can you please take this to Tim?’
He frowns. ‘Is this about the ending?’
‘What else?’
‘Claude –’ he shakes his head – ‘it’s getting very late in the day for this. Maybe give it up. Focus on—’
‘Please,’ I say, cutting him off before he can say,you.‘I’m asking you to do this for me, as my friend. Watch Tim read it, if you can.’
He sighs, but doesn’t protest further.
He doesn’t go alone to Tim’s home, either.
Nick drives him there.
‘He offered,’ Felix tells me, once he’s back and comes to find me on the soundstage, just as I’ve finished my scene and am re-entering reality. ‘He saw us talking, asked me what was up, so I told him.’
‘If I’d wanted to tell him, Felix, I’d have done it.’
‘He’s trying to make things right too. And we both watched Tim read your letter.’ He gives me a suffering look. ‘About fifty-five times.’
‘Did Tim show it to you?’ I ask, and hold my breath.
‘No,’ says Felix.
I let my breath go.
‘You made him cry, though.’
‘Oh God,’ I say, pressing my hand to my head.
‘Yeah, I felt pretty ordinary about it. Roger mentioned you called earlier, wanting to see Tim. That Tim said no … ’
‘Has he changed his mind?’
