"I told her I had a different job, I told her I lived in a different place, and I made her think I was someone I'm not."
"Why did you do that?"
Such a simple question. Why did I lie to Liv? At the time, it seemed like harmless fun. But looking back, I can see the deeper motivations.
"I should have told her the truth sooner but by the time I got to know her better I guess I wanted her to like me for me," I say. "Not because I have money or because I could do things for her. I wanted to know if she'd like me just as a regular person."
Danny nods thoughtfully. "But you're not a regular person. You're Blair."
"I know, but?—"
"And she liked Blair, right? Even when you were pretending to be someone else?"
"Yeah, I think she did."
"So she liked you even when you were lying?" Danny's brow furrows in concentration. "That means she liked you, period."
His logic is both simple and profound.
"But I hurt her feelings," I explain. "When someone lies to you, it makes you feel bad. It makes you not trust them anymore."
"Did you say you were sorry?" he asks.
"Yeah, I tried to. But it's too late. She doesn’t want to talk to me anymore."
Danny considers this, his face scrunched in thought. "When I broke Mom's favorite vase, I said I was sorry but she was still sad about the vase because it was Grandma's and she could never get it back."
"Right."
"But then I helped her clean it up and I bought her a new one from the store downtown. The biggest and nicest one I could find.”
I smile. That explains the vase currently terrorizing the hallway—an enormous ceramic nightmare painted in swirlingpurple and orange with what might be dolphins or possibly deformed cats. I suppose Mom keeps it in the most prominent spot because she loves Danny more than she values aesthetics.
“And then she wasn't sad anymore because she knew I was really sorry," Danny adds.
"That's different, buddy. You can't just buy a new person's feelings."
"No, but you can do something to show you're sorry. Like how Tommy has been bringing me baseball cards every day since I got home because he felt bad about almost killing me." He shrugs. "I was never angry with him but now I have more baseball cards."
I smile and squeeze his hand. Danny's never pretended to be someone else, never been able to hide behind false personas. What you see with Danny is what you get, and maybe that's why he understands human nature better than most people.
"So you think I should try again?"
"I think you should try until she believes you're sorry," Danny says firmly. "Because if you really like her, you don't just give up. You keep trying."
35
LIV
Iput my laptop on the corner table and hang my blazer over the back of my chair. This used to be my go-to place but I'm not sure how I feel about it anymore. I'm in the same place where this whole mess started and now all I can think about is Blair. I refuse to let one fraud ruin my favorite caffeine sanctuary though, and Jake behind the counter starts making my regular order before I even reach the register.
“I haven’t seen you in a while," he says.
"Yeah, I've been busy." I slide my credit card across the counter.
"Rough day? You've got that look."
"Just the usual chaos," I say, managing a tight smile. "I have a lot going on."
