“Something of that sort.”
“Fucking press assholes. I’d call them vultures, but vultures at least do something for the environment by getting rid of dead shit. Those assholes, especially when they’re not doing actual news, are just well-paid stalkers and mean girls.”
He chuckled. “The point is, he went out of his way to bring you up and reminded me to avoid you. I am obviously doing the complete opposite, and while I’m not concerned that he will do something if he finds out...I would not like to play with fire while I’ve already got plenty of fires I’m trying to put out.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said, glaring out the window as if Augustine’s smug face was staring in at us. “Whatever.”
“Dom, I?—”
“Don’t. We’re never going to get along when it comes to that prick. I get it, alright? You’ve got enough on your plate without daddy dearest deciding I’m a bad influence and having me thrown into the ocean.”
Levi’s head snapped up. “I’d fucking kill him.”
It wasn’t said with heat or intensity; it wasn’t said with anger or belligerence; it was said with... knowing. His tone didn’t even entertain the idea that someone would doubt him, and I felt a chill ripple down my spine at the realization that he was absolutely serious. If Augustine did something to me and Levi found out, Levi would throw everything he had gained from being in The Family down the drain in an instant and kill the man who was technically his father.
“Well,” I said, clearing my throat. “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever felt scared because of you. I guess you did go a little gangster.”
“It’s not a joke,” Levi said. “I made it quite clear years ago, and have reminded him in rare moments of the fact. And that goes for your family as well, just so you know.”
“No, you don’t get it. I believe you. That’s what scared the shit out of me for a moment. You weren’t the Levi I knew; you were the Levi I didn’t.”
“I can be both...and neither,” he said quietly.
“Levi…” I began, and stopped when I saw his shoulders tense.
“Don’t ask a question you aren’t prepared to hear the answer to,” he said softly as if reading my mind. “Because I might just answer it.”
The question on my lips didn’t die, but it definitely froze as I stood watching the machine hum pleasantly, releasing the aroma of an incredibly strong blend of coffee into the air. Levi’s eyes lingered on me for several heartbeats before turning away to pull something else out of the cabinet. I barely paid attention to what he was doing as he fiddled with the new device, his lips pressed together.
I had to admit, I still wanted to know, even if I wasn’t sure I was ready for the question. “How easy is it for you to kill someone?”
He stopped, a line forming on his brow and his mouth opening into a faint grunt. “Interesting.”
“Why the fuck would you think that’s interesting?” I asked, confused.
He snorted. “I suppose I was expecting you to ask if I’d ever taken a life, not the ease with which I could take it.”
“Well, I’m not the brightest bulb in the box, but I’m not so dim that I didn’t figure you hadn’t done it in fifteen years of working for The Family,” I grumbled with a roll of my eyes. “And you know...whatever that diner owner’s name was.”
“That’s fair,” he said as the machine droned on. “He was the first, but not the last. And I won’t even say he was the hardest, though I thought at the time it was. It was odd to feel pity for a man like him, but in truth, by the time Augustine’s men were done with him, killing him was more a mercy than it was justice.”
That was a...terrifying thought. “God, is that how he got you in?”
“No,” he said, just fast enough that I believed him. “In fact, Augustine was insistent that I not treat that favor as something that required me to work for The Family. In the end, working for The Family was something I chose to do, not because there was a debt owed to him.”
“Oh, I...don’t know what to say to that.”
“If it helps, I’m not sure how to justify it either,” he said with a shrug. “I had convinced myself that without my mother, there wasn’t a whole lot to keep me here. I had never given much thought to the sort of future I would have, so why not take the opportunity that was given to me? I’m sure you’re not the only person who thought Augustine lured me in or trapped me. But some people lacked your insight into his character and, to this day, think he does things because he favors me. If they had evena lick of sense, they’d realize I am here not because I want to be, but because he wishes me to be.”
“Really? You had nothing here?” I asked, not bothering to keep the hurt out of my voice.
“I was seventeen and deep in the throes of mourning the one person I’d known those entire seventeen years. I wasn’t making sense, and I didn’t for some time afterward. It didn’t help that I had also just thrown aside the only true friend I’d ever had, the man I loved in ways I didn’t understand. And yes, before you say it, I’m well aware that was my choice, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t add to my growing grief. I was so filled with grief, loss, and loneliness for months,yearsafterward, that it was a miracle I continued breathing,” he said with a scowl. “So please, don’t remind me of what I have reminded myself of in exquisitely painful detail for years.”
“That’s about the closest I’m going to get to an apology, isn’t it?” I muttered.
He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry I hurt you, I really, truly, absolutely am.”
“But not sorry you did it.”
