“Eli?”
“I’m with Arlo. I had Dad, sure, but I didn’t realize how much I needed all of you. It wasn’t just Milo that fixed me; it was all of you.”
“And I’m in the same goddamn boat,” I snarled at them, happy to see Moira frowning but not speaking. “I lost my whole goddamn world and had to start over. I don’t know that any other family would have been the right fit like this pack of misfits, losers, weirdos, and freaks. This family has enough love, understanding, and patience to bring in so many of us and let us be ourselves without demanding anything else.”
I turned to jab a finger at Levi. “And this man right here? Once upon a time, I lost him, and yeah, it fucked me up real good. Deep down, I never understood how much it fucked me up. It was like losing half of myself, and I spent years not realizing that I was trying to find that missing piece. Then he came back, and everything made sense again. And no, I’m notfucking happy about where his life had gone, or what he’d been doing, and I’m never going to be happy about that. But he is not a bloodthirsty monster who used us or didn’t care. He was a heartbroken kid who was pulled into a fucked-up world, and yeah, he did shit none of us want to think about, but he is still the same kid I knew all those years ago.”
I glared at all of them, even those who had been supporting me. “I love him. I don’t like all he’s done, I hate some of it, actually, and there’s still some shit I have to figure out how to deal with, but he’s being given the chance to live a life that is more than whatever fucked up attitude The Family had and join a real family. And I’m not going to stand around and let him figure that out on his own, and none of you should either. He fucked up, that’s true. But when he realized what he’d done and what could happen, he immediately turned and threw everything he’d built away, put himself in danger of being tortured and murdered, and lost his fucking eye to keep all of us safe. He’s not a monster, he’s a lost, broken man who needs the same kind of love and attention that all of us have been given over the years, and by fuckingGod, I will not let him suffer without it.”
The silence stretched, and I heard a strangled noise from behind. I spun around in alarm. Levi was fine, but his face was contorted, as if he were fighting hard and losing a battle with his emotions. I knew damn well he didn’t want to lose it in front of the family, but fuck that. This family was going to see the human he was one way or another, and goddammit, he was a part of this family as far as I was concerned, and he was allowed to be emotional in front of them.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out, and I didn’t think he realized that he was clinging to Matty’s hand like she was the only thing keeping him from drowning. If it hurt, and considering his whiteknuckles, it probably did, Matty didn’t pull away or say anything as I sat on the bed beside him. “I’m sorry, I’m so,so?—”
“I’ve got you, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” I said, the last whispered with a promise in every syllable. Because it was going to be okay, not today, not tomorrow, maybe not even next year, but goddammit, one day it would be. “I’ve got you.”
I tensed when I felt a new presence on the bed and glanced over to see Micah leaning against the bed, peering down at Levi with thin lips. “You fought for me.”
“What?” Levi asked in a thick voice.
“When they got Dom. You wanted to help him so bad, but you pushed me down and made sure I didn’t get up so you could keep fighting those guys,” Micah said softly.
“S-sorry about pushing you,” Levi whispered.
Micah shook his head. “You were trying to protect me. Even when Dom...did you really do all that messed up stuff?”
“More than you will ever know,” Levi said in a low voice thick with shame.
“Alright,” Micah said, reaching out and squeezing Levi’s shoulder. “But you’re also the guy who did everything he could to save me; evil people don’t care about stuff like that.”
“I’m not a good person.”
“Maybe you’re a bit of both,” Micah said, and I stared at this boy, this teenager growing into a man, who had been fighting his own demons, accepting the idea instantly. With the confidence of a child, but the understanding of an adult. “I’m sorry it meant you lost your eye, though.”
“Jesus Christ,” I heard Moira mutter.
Levi was staring up at him with his good eye, and I could tell from his look that, although he was going to do whatever he could to leave his old life behind, God save anyone who ever tried to hurt Micah.
“I will not condone what you did in your life,” Arlo said, standing up. “But I won’t condemn you for trying to do better. Welcome to the family.”
“Isn’t he the sexiest when he’s all compassionate and understanding?” Ward asked in a wistful voice that would have been more at home on one of those awful teenage shows. “Oh, uh, yeah, what he said, though.”
Eli chuckled. “Kinda hard to follow when Arlo gets to speak first...and Ward gets horny over...which is weird. Anyway, if you’re serious about it, then yeah, come around some time, Levi. We’ll keep you out of our videos, though, probably a good idea if your face doesn’t get put on blast.”
“Yeah, and I’m really sorry I…” Milo began, leaning on the back of the seat Micah had occupied. Which meant the chair slid even easier than before. He would have planted his face firmly into the floor if Eli hadn’t shifted his foot against the leg with the smoothness of someone who was not just used to Milo but had been waiting for it to happen. “Fuck, uh...Sorry I yelled at you. I was, uh...really emotional about Dom getting run over.”
“Run over?” I asked.
“Yeah, beep beep.”
“I was thrown into the wall and landed in the gutter.”
“Yeah, not really Looney Tunes, but you know...beep beep.”
“Okay, well,” Moira said, shooting Milo a look somewhere between irritation and amusement. “I’m not sorry I punched you.”
“I consider myself lucky that’s all you did,” Levi said in a quiet voice far more controlled than before, but I could hear the waver was still strong.
“Good, you had better get your shit together too,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Especially after that speech from Dom. You aren’t going to like me if you made my brother make an ass of himself...even if he’s used to it.”
