“I have,” he answered, surprising me. “Lately it’s been on my mind. But although I have more reason than ever to try to go back to being a normal person, the obstacles in the way are just as present now as they were. You don’t just leave The Family. And even when you do, you don’t just leave behind all the friends and enemies you made.”
“Yeah,” I said softly. “That’s true. Wishful thinking on my part.”
“A little bit of wishful thinking never hurt anyone,” he said with a smile, bumping playfully into me. “And quit looking like you’re about to apologize. Your questions don’t hurt me, Dom. I know what my life is and what its limitations are. I’m not going to break down just because I can’t simply retire and move into a white picket fence house with you.”
“Now there’s a weird idea,” I said with a snort.
Micah called over his shoulder. “Are you guys doing gay shit back there?”
“No more gayer than your dad and other uncles,” I called back. “But at least this is age-appropriate.”
Micah risked glancing back and sighed when he saw us holding hands. “I know what some people have said, but the worst I ever saw out of my dad and Mason was when I walked in on them making out.”
“That’s more than I’ve seen, thank God,” I said with a shudder. “No offense, kid. I’m sure that was bad enough.”
“Our family is so weird,” he said with a huff, having drifted back to us as we walked. “We know things about each other that we shouldn’t.”
“You ain’t telling me anything I don’t already know, kid.”
“No one else calls me that.”
“What?”
“Kid.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling a slight flutter of panic. “Well, it’s just what I call you, I guess. I know you’re not a kid anymore.”
“I guess I still kind of am,” he said, sounding depressed at the idea. “But you don’t treat me like one, so I don’t mind.”
“Does this mean you’ve forgiven me for breaking your phone and chewing you out?” I wondered, bringing up the incident for the first time around him.
“You scared the hell out of me,” he muttered. “You’ve never been like that with me before.”
“Mmm, to be fair, you had also never acted like that much of an asshole,” I pointed out.
“Had.”
“What?”
“You said had...like I’m not still acting like that.”
I glanced at Levi, who shrugged and gestured with his eyes toward Micah. I cleared my throat. “Do you think you are still acting like that?”
“Sometimes,” he said quietly. “Not as much as I was, you know. But I’m still kind of an asshole sometimes.”
“Buddy, have you paid attention to your family? Half of us are assholes sometimes, or daily in Mason’s case,” I said with a smirk.
That made him laugh. “Yeah, you’re right. But I don’t know, I don’t like how mad I get sometimes, especially at Mom. But it’s like...she doesn’t understand, and she doesn’ttryto. She wants me to stop being like I am and be more like the kid I was. And when I try to get her to listen, she gets pushy, and then I just...I stop thinking right, and I get so mad.”
“I won’t lie to you, kid, that’s going to happen a lot more often than you or your mom or any of the rest of us would like,” I said with a shrug. “Growing pains aren’t for the weak, and that’s what these are. You and everyone else have to learn how to deal with all the stuff that’s going to be new and different about you.”
“So...suck it up and deal with it,” he said, sounding beyond annoyed, though it might have been from the car that passed us slowly, their headlights so bright it was like getting flash-banged.
“Goddamn, why are those things legal?” I asked as they passed. “And no...but kinda yeah.”
“You suck it up and deal with it because you have no choice because...well, living life is kind of what we all have to do,” Levi said with a small smile. “But you can try to make it easier... for yourself and everyone else. Because that’s the other part of life, trying to make the parts you have to deal with easier.”
“Is this the shit that everyone is supposed to do?”
