That said…she wasn’t going to run away with her tail between her legs, mopping up her broken heart with her friends when she got back to the ski resort, and she wasn’t going to let him see how much she was hurting.
She was going to be in control of herself, at least with him, and if she wasn’t when she was on her own, then no one would witness her devastation.
Wasn’t that what inner strength was all about? Being dignified in the face of loss?
‘I enjoy being with you as well, if you want complete honesty. And the sex is off the chart but that’s not a reason for me to want to carry on with this situation until it fizzles out. I have a life waiting for me after this and plans to make about returning to England. I need to get on with that life and move on from what we have here, which was only ever going to be a blip.’
‘A blip?’
‘Yes, Alessandro,a blip. We both know that, andyoumight think it’s great to carry on until you’re stuffed and feeling sick but that’s not me. I don’t see the sense in continuing with this, behaving like a couple of kids in a sweet shop, until we both get sick of the sweets on offer. I know Flora will be upset but that won’t last. Kids get over things quickly. She’ll be back at school in the blink of an eye and I will become a distant memory for her, just like I’ll become a distant memory for you.’
‘Why are you making a straightforward situation so damned complicated?’
They had pulled apart, confrontational now rather than conspiratorial.
‘I’m just being honest and it was never that straightforward, if we were both to tell the absolute truth. It was crazy to end up in bed together but we did, and I don’t regret a minute of it, but that doesn’t mean that I want to continue until…it just fizzles out. Look, Alessandro, we’re here for a tiny bit of time longer. Why not enjoy it without wanting to prolong something that was never going to stay the distance anyway?’
She’d been through the eye of the hurricane and now…now was time to get to clearer skies. The hurricane would return later…when she was on her own.
‘I never thought you were that sensible,’ Alessandro said in a driven undertone.
He had pulled back from her and stiffened as the conversation he had foreseen swerved off on an unexpected tangent.
‘What did you think I was?’
‘More spontaneous.’
‘After Hans, the next guy I invite into my life is going to be someone who is serious about a relationship.’ She paused. ‘You were right about the fun thing, though.’
‘The fun thing…’
‘I went from a broken heart to, as you said, battening down the hatches, but in between I needed to loosen up and have some fun and I have. Here. With you. Fun fun. Not serious fun.’
He’d been a bit of fun? Fun fun?
What was going on here? Wasn’thesupposed to be the one talking sense in a polite, warm way as he wrapped things up? And why did this feel so weird and painful?
‘So you’re turning down my offer to carry on with what we have…’ His voice was incredulous. ‘Is that what I’m hearing?’
‘Correct.’
‘You’ll return to the ski resort and pick up where you left off.’
‘That was the deal, wasn’t it? I could continue doing the cleaning at your house? You’re not going to renege on that, are you?’
‘No! Dammit, Georgie…now we’re talking aboutbloody cleaning?’
‘Good, because the more I have towards a deposit, the better. You wouldn’t believe the prices of shoeboxes in London. Crazy.’
‘I could buy you whatever you want. All you have to do is say the word, no strings attached,’ he muttered with a hint of challenge in his voice.
‘Why would you do that, Alessandro?’
Good question, was what Alessandro was thinking, suddenly bewildered at his own suggestion. Why would he?
‘I’m a generous guy,’ he said, with just a hint of defensiveness in his voice.
‘Yes, you are. I mean, I just have to look around this place to know that you live in ano-expense-sparedworld.’
