I should not have said that.
But Jonah’s expression was quite calm as he beheld her.
“There was someone at Wolvesley, wasn’t there?” His question was gentle. “Someone you became fond of?”
A lump had come into her throat that she could not swallow. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
“Did he hurt you?” This time there was an edge to his voice.
Esme put her head into her hands. “He did not mean to.”
Is that true?
“Because if any man hurt you, Esme, he should be made to pay for it.”
God’s blood, she did not want her brother seeking vengeance.
“You have it wrong, Jonah. There was a man at Wolvesley, aye. And I grew closer to him than I should.” Her voice wobbled. “But he did naught wrong.”
Jonah did not appear convinced, but as she looked at him beseechingly, his expression softened.
“Fear not, sweet sister, I am not about to ride into Wolvesley, waving my sword and baying for blood.”
“I am glad to hear it.” She straightened up, reaching for her composure. “Mother would not be pleased if you did.”
“Nay indeed.” He dragged a hand through his golden hair. “I find this discourse has quite tired me out. You will excuse me for a while.”
It was not a question. He was already getting up from the table, his blue eyes fixed on the sanctuary of the solar.
Esme called after him. “You will come out again this day, won’t you?”
He threw a smile over his shoulder as he limped across the wooden floor. “I may.”
She sighed deeply. Her brother had left her with much to consider. Namely, a question she had asked herself soon after she arrived at Ember Hall.
Did I ever love Crispin?
Was the bitter ache that once lodged in her heart no more than the sting of youthful obsession?
Had she loved Crispin’s chestnut curls and sparkling eyes more than she had ever lovedhim?
The more time she spent apart from him, the more she fancied this might be the case. Crispin had never made her feel the way Adam did; safe and excited, both together in a heady mix.
With Crispin, she had felt giddy, aye. And anxious. But rarely was there laughter on her lips, nor flutters in her belly.
Which led her to a second, far more troubling question.
What are my feelings for Adam?
Chapter Nine
Adam was bothsorry and not sorry that the weather had been so inclement. Four days had passed since Esme’s first lesson; days of unending rain, wind and fog. He had told her they could not progress until the situation improved, and he had expected an argument from the feisty young miss, but Esme had demurred as if she did not much mind one way or the other.
But as the days went on, Adam found thatheminded very much.
He had been out of sorts for that first lesson. Mostly because of her appearance in those snug-fitting braccae. His mind had gone immediately to a place that was entirely inappropriate.
To cover his discomfort, he had been brusque in his instructions. Mayhap even rude.
