Robbie glanced over and met eyes with Emily, a former women’s Team Canada skater he remembered from the Olympics. “Trying to sabotage the competition, Em? Not very sporting.”
“No way. I’m gonna beat you fair and square.”
They bumped fists as Finn and Robbie left the ice. Robbie needed a hot shower for his sweaty body, some arnica gel for his bruised ass, and a donut for his wounded ego.
But instead of mocking him, Finn offered encouragement. “Not bad, rookie. We’ll make a skater of you yet.”
That was hockey talk. Oh, thatasshole. Robbie knew he’d been faking ignorance the whole time. He narrowed his eyes. “You are a tricky, sneaky man.”
“Aw, geez.” Finn fanned his hand in front of his face. “Don’t make me blush.”
Unfortunately he did this just as Chad was walking down the hall toward them, and he made a point of crossing to the far side and standing with his ass against the wall.
Finn’s jaw tensed as they walked past him, but he didn’t say anything, so Robbie did. “As if anyone wants to touch his nasty asshole,” he muttered just loud enough for Finn to hear him. “He’s probably one of those straight guys who thinks it’s gay to wash it.”
Next to him, Finn wheezed. “Oh my God.”
“Just the facts,” Robbie said innocently.
They walked a few more steps before Finn ventured, almost cautiously, “Know a lot of straight guys like that in the NHL?”
Robbie wasn’t sure what he was getting at, at first. “Not as many as you’d think. You can usually smell ’em coming even over the hockey gear, though.”
They filed into the locker room. Farther down the hallway, there were a handful of private individual showers, but Robbie wasn’t spending any more time in his sweaty clothes than he had to. He plopped onto the bench and bent down to unlace.
“But you’re not one of them,” Finn said after a moment.
Robbie looked up without unbending. “People who think it’s gay to wash your own asshole?”
If he’d been a little quicker on the uptake, he might’ve read into the way Finn turned his back when he took his shirt off. But he was hungry and all his blood was currently in his extremities, trying to make them feel better after the exertion, so he just catalogued it and went back to the laces. “I meant just… homophobic. I guess.”
Robbie stabbed the underside of his thumbnail with one of the lace hooks. “Fuck! Uh.” Wait, did that question even make sense? “You know about my kid, right? And which charity I’m skating for?”
“Right, yeah, right.” Was he having a stroke? Robbie looked up again, skate only halfway undone. Jesus, these things were tight. “I mean. It’s different for some people, being like, theoretically okay with having a queer kid and like… being around people their own gender who are into that gender while in a public shower. For example.”
Robbie opened and closed his mouth a few times. Then he said, “Are you going for a record?”
Finn whipped his head over to stare at him. “What?”
What the hell else could this be? “For most awkward coming out ever? Like, you waited until we were both gonna getnaked?” Obviously Finn didn’t really believe Robbie was the type to bash his head in, if that was the case.
Groaning, Finn slumped onto the bench and buried his face in his hands. “Never mind,” he said into his palms.
Finally Robbie clocked the redness of his ears and connected the dots. “Ohhhh.” Now he was feeling warmer than necessary too. Maybe he should make that a cold shower. If he ever got his skates off, anyway. “I mean, uh. Even if washing your own asshole was a little gay, I’d still do it.” He still felt vulnerable saying that out loud, especially given the setting, which sucked. He hoped Sawyer wasn’t going to feel this way into late adulthood. Probably it was like any other skill, and it got easier with practice.
Robbie hadn’t had much practice. Maybe that was something he should work on, for Sawyer’s sake if not his own.
But like… he wasn’t coming out on reality TV.
“Sorry,” Finn said after a moment. He’d pulled his hands away from his face, but he wasn’t any less red. He’d been hiding a built body under his T-shirt, which didn’t surprise Robbie—he’d spent too much of the past week pressed up against Finn for that—but seemed more relevant now. “That was actually super awkward.”
For his own sanity, Robbie returned to unlacing. He needed that shower. “Eh,” he said to his knee. Finally he’d unlaced the stupid boot far enough to free his foot. God, yes. Freedom. He shifted to the other leg. “I feel like I probably would’ve picked up what you were throwing down in other circumstances.”
“It’s rude to ask anyway.”
Robbie wrinkled his nose. This skate was loosening easier than the first, at least. “How’s anyone supposed to fuck, then?” He heaved out a breath as the boot released him and figured heshould probably add, “Uh, I’m not out publicly. Obviously. Like, my kid knows, but it was never worth the publicity to be the first one out in the locker room.”
“Oh.” Finn’s voice was small, and Robbie realized maybe he needed to be a bit more forthright.
