My throat went dry. My eyes flicked to East. His jaw was tight, his hands fists at his sides, but he pulled me close to him, snaking his arm over my shoulders.
28
Lila
I kept my hands folded in my lap longer than I meant to, as if I didn’t move, the moment would freeze, and I could pretend that this morning at the station wasn’t real. Wade’s words felt like a stone in my gut. Arson. Accelerant. Someone wanted me gone. The plastic chairs in Wade’s office were uncomfortable, and even though East had scooted his chair closer to me, I still felt far away.
Briggs set his folder on the desk between us, as if it wasn’t going to be earthshattering. He sat, leaned forward, and opened it with a businesslike motion. Inside were photos from the scene and a notepad with neat print. He exuded competence the way some people exuded anxiety, and right now, competence was a welcome presence.
“All right,” Wade said, eyes taking in each of us. Hespoke slowly and sparingly, no drama. “First priority is your safety. Then we focus on the investigation and making sure whoever did this cannot repeat it. I asked Redhawk to come in because they have some resources that we might not have access to. We’ve had a patrol on the street,” Wade said, voice taut. “Weeknight and early morning sweeps, but that wasn’t enough, obviously. We can’t rely on one officer to be everywhere.”
I wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but Briggs anticipated what I was going to say. “You couldn’t have possibly covered every angle. This is a small town operation.” He wasn’t being rude. Those were definitely the facts, but I saw Wade flinch. “I’ll do my best to dig into things while I’m here, Ms Merrick.”
“Lila,” I answered automatically.
He was all business as he pushed through his file, and it was almost as if this were happening to someone else. I wondered if this was the point at which I should mention that I couldn’t possibly afford a fancy security company.
“Umm, I appreciate that you’re here, Briggs.” I wasn’t even sure where their company was, and it wasn’t like me to turn away help, but I wanted to clear this up right now. “Your company sounds expensive. I’m not sure that’s necessary,” I hedged, my fingers tapping on my leg restlessly.
“Rhodes owes me a favor. You don’t have to pay anything.” Wade undid a candy wrapper. “Redhawk is here as a part of that favor.” He rocked a little in his desk chair.
“I’ve heard about the legendary incident, but I’mhoping for more details while I’m here. Rhodes is a little stingy on the good parts.” Briggs winked at me. “And I hear you make a mean cinnamon roll. That can be my tip.”
It was the first friendly sign from him. I looked between the three men and let out a sigh. Well, I didn’t have much of a choice, did I? There was no way I could figure out who was doing these things without help, and if Wade said Redhawk was good, then there was no reason that I wouldn’t want them to help.
“Well, I appreciate you. And I’ll make you all the baked goods that you want.” East growled a little, but Briggs just smirked as if he knew that he was goading him on purpose.
“Sounds good to me. I’ll hold you to it.” Tapping the folder, he seemed to want to get back to business, so I straightened in my seat while he paused and shuffled papers. “I have a few things I’d like to run by you. I’d like to install temporary, solar-powered cameras on the exterior of your house and along the edges of your yard. If someone is watching, the cameras will change their pattern. I know you’ve already put some up, but ours are better. They’ll be hooked up to our central system. If activity pings, then someone will check out the live feeds and notify local authorities if necessary.”
“You think someone is watching?” I heard my voice, and it sounded small.
“You were targeted,” he said quietly. “Not random. Someone knew what to aim for and the risk of you being home. Whoever did that had intent. When there is intent,someone is following a plan. They brought the accelerant with them.”
He spoke as if it were a case file already solved in another life. I folded in on myself a little. Intent. Plan. Those words lit a thousand ugly scenarios across my mind. East’s hand found mine, and his thumb caressed my palm.
“Okay. Whatever you think,” I managed to say.
Briggs cleared his throat, folded his hands, and looked at me seriously. “Lila, we have to explore motive. Who benefits if you were hurt? I need to cast a wider net. Exes, disgruntled neighbors, anyone with a grudge. Someone at Redhawk is already checking security footage from nearby businesses, canvassing for witnesses, and looking for any connections.”
My first instinct was to say that nobody would have a grudge, but that wasn’t necessarily true.
“What about Derek?” East asked, surprising me.
There was nothing measured in the way he said the name. It landed like an accusation, and for a terrifying second, all the color drained from my face. We hadn’t talked about our pasts with previous partners yet. He must have gotten the information from someone else, and that felt a little like a betrayal. I knew that it wasn’t entirely reasonable. Gossip was strong in our small town, so it was totally possible he’d heard about Derek just through casual conversations around town. Still, hurt flooded me that he’d bring it up like this.
“No assumptions yet,” Briggs said, hands flat on the desk. He did not look at me the way East had, like he expected truth to spill out of me by force. He looked like aman who had been trained to tolerate drama without letting it infect his work.
Wade put his pen to paper. “I was going to tell you today that Derek is back in town.” The news spun through me like poison. I hadn’t known that. He hadn’t been here in years. I wasn’t even sure what would happen if I did see him in person. “Looks like he has an alibi for last night, but we’ll be double-checking. We’ll talk to him. But right now, Lila, we need to know everything you can tell us. Any threats, odd messages, anything someone else might have noticed.” He looked at me the way only good police officers do: not impatient, but urgent.
“Umm …” I pulled my hand from East’s, ignoring how he shifted a little beside me like he wanted to say something else, and I hoped desperately he wouldn’t. I wasn’t sure I could stand it. “There have been a few weird things. Lights out. I got a note in our mailbox at the post office that just said, ‘Leave.’ I saved it.” East stiffened next to me. “It wasn’t addressed or anything. I don’t know if it was related.” Briggs made notes. I swallowed. “My neighbors are great. Nothing there that would be worrying. When I walked home one time from a night out, there was a truck that seemed like it was going the same way, but I don’t think …” I trailed off. Wade frowned, and I didn’t dare look over at East.
“Can you tell us about any other exes? I’m sorry that we have to bring that up. If you’d like, we can talk in private,” Briggs offered. His eyes were kind, but pointed. “It would be the most likely explanation for something targeted. These feel like escalations.”
My throat worked. I could tell them about the flirty texts that had soured into possessive ones. I could tell them about the way Derek’s jokes turned sharp the night I said no more, the times he’d hit me. I could tell them how he had a temper that made my palms go slick. But telling the whole truth would mean telling a version of myself I had wanted to bury. He’d loved to make me feel small.
I was tempted to ask to continue in private, but didn’t dare look over at East. If we had any hope of dating, then these were things he’d have to know.
“I don’t have any other ex-boyfriends besides Derek,” I finally said. Neither of the Holts had been in town for most of my teen years. Wade was off to the army, and Easton had just been gone, but I had been awkward in so many ways. Not the sort to attract male attention. It had taken me years to grow into the woman I was. I’d been all skinny, with braces, and knobby knees when I was growing up.
