“Ugh. Fine. But only because you’re traumatized.” She poured tequila into the mismatched glasses I’d drunk from more times than I could count. We’d once declared them “magic cups” because drinking from them made everything feel better, but I was guessing that was the tequila, not the glasses.
She raised hers. “To surviving. And to your excellent cheekbone.”
I groaned, then clinked cups with her. The tequila burned as always, but it also warmed me, threading through my chest. I was relieved that she was willing to lighten the mood and not dwell on what had happened. If she were one of those people who dwelled on things, I wasn’t sure how I could handle it.
I’d been in this living room enough to know every creak in the floorboards, every pattern of the fairy lights strung across the mantle. Yet tonight, curled under the weighted blanket with Sage pressed shoulder-to-shoulder with me, it felt like the first time I’d taken a full breath since that man shoved me.
“You really okay?” Sage turned on her side so she faced me.
I hesitated, my fingers twisting at the edge of the blanket. Sage and I had grown apart during my years with my ex-boyfriend—those years I left the safety of my Gramsand Wildwood Meadows. I ghosted her. We hashed things out, and I came clean about what happened with him, but tonight brought up a lot of ugliness.
The truth pushed up my throat like water behind a dam. “Physically, yeah. I’m ok. Thank God you came over. You were amazing.”
“Of course, bestie.” She twined her fingers with mine, her eyes urging me to keep going.
“Emotionally? I’m scared,” I admitted finally. My voice sounded too small, even to me. “Not just about tonight. About… falling back into old patterns. I know better, but sometimes I don’t trust myself to see the red flags before it’s too late. This just brings it all back.” I swallowed hard. “Men like that.”
Sage gripped my hand tightly. “You’re not alone. Derek was only able to weasel into your life because you were alone. He was a dick and a waste of space. You’re not that girl anymore.”
She’d stubbornly adhered to the idea that I’d been susceptible to Derek’s charms because I’d been young and naive. Maybe there was a lot of truth to that. I hadn’t known better. He’d been nice at first. I hadn’t had the strongest relationships, but I hadn’t exactly been alone. Grams had tried to warn me.
Sure, Grams had been doing a lot of heavy lifting when it came to raising a granddaughter. There were several areas where we struggled, just like any single-parent household. I felt like she was too strict, and she thought that I was trying to spread my wings a little too quickly.
I bit my lip. “I thought I wasn’t that girl with Derek, either. I feel sometimes that I can’t trust myself.”
Her eyes softened, but her grip on my hand was steady. “Derek only fooled you because you wanted to see the good. That’s not weakness, Lila. That’s hope. And hope is what makes you who you are. Just now, whoever wants your trust has to earn it.”
I blinked hard against the sting of tears. “What if I’m not good at telling the difference? Between who should have it and who shouldn’t?”
“Then that’s why you have me. And the rest of us. We’ll tell you. We’ll scream it from the rooftops if we have to.” Sage leaned in close, her forehead almost bumping mine. “You’re not alone. Not in this.”
The knot in my chest loosened, just a little. I let out a shaky laugh. “God, I don’t deserve you.”
“You absolutely do,” she said firmly. Then her lips quirked. “Besides, if you’re really worried about bad decisions, I’m pretty sure my brother already volunteered to glower anyone out of your orbit. Did you see him tonight? East showed up for you.” She gave me a sly look.
Heat crept up my neck. “Easton wasn’t there for me,” I hedged. “Why would he have been? He was there for you. He came when you called. He was protecting his family.” That’s what Easton Holt cared about. Everyone knew that. It was too much to hope for that he’d come for me. That was ridiculous, although I had put his number in my phone like he’d asked, but only because I’d promised.
The guy was a screaming red flag. He was the good guy for his family, but a one-night-stand sort of man. He’dbe out of this town just as fast as any out-of-towner. Nothing I did would compel him to stay, and there would be no way I’d leave Wildwood Meadows ever again. This was my home.
“Hmm.” Sage sat up and sipped her tequila like she wasn’t buying it at all. “Funny, I didn’t realize you counted as family.”
I threw a balled-up napkin at her, but she just cackled.
“Eat another slice,” she said, victorious. “Because I’m not carrying your dramatic ass if you faint mid-heart-to-heart.”
I snorted, swiping at my eyes as I reached for another slice. Sage grinned before flipping the TV over to the cheesiest rom-com she could find.
11
Lila
Mornings were my favorite. They were for muffins and cinnamon. It was perfect for listening to Taylor Swift on full blast and not worrying about being judged for my music choices, but this morning I was still having trouble getting into the groove.
Sage and I had fallen asleep out in the living room under the weighted blanket (most likely because of the tequila). It was a good thing because I probably would have had nightmares. This morning, she offered to walk me to the shop, but I told her I was fine.
Still, by the time I made it here, my hands were shaking so badly I could barely unlock the front door.
The morning air was still that damp kind of cold that seeped into your bones, and the fog over Main Street rose on the asphalt, making it look like something out of a storywrapped in mist. Usually, I loved it, but today it felt oppressive.
