“Me too.” His voice sounded odd; I remember that, the way his voice caught.
Even though he was standing right in front of me, his hands around my waist, mine around his neck, he had never felt so far away.
After, we sat back down at our table. He said, “Do you want to go somewhere?”
“Well, the after-prom doesn’t start till midnight,” I said, fiddling with my pearl necklace. I wound it around my fingers. I couldn’t look at him.
Conrad said, “No, I mean just you and me. Somewhere we can talk.”
All of a sudden, I felt dizzy. If Conrad wanted to go somewhere where we could be alone, where we could talk, it meant he wanted to break up with me. I knew it.
“Let’s not go anywhere, let’s just stay here for a while,” I said, and I tried hard not to sound desperate.
“All right,” he said.
So we sat there, watching everyone around us dance, their faces shiny, makeup running. I pulled the flower out of my hair and put it in my purse.
When we had been quiet awhile, I said, “Did your mom make you come?” It broke my heart to ask, but I had to know.
“No,” he said, but he waited too late to answer.
In the parking lot, it had started to drizzle. My hair, my hair that I had spent the whole afternoon curling, was already falling flat. We were walking to the car when Conrad said, “My head is killing me.”
I stopped walking. “Do you want me to go back inside and see if anybody has an aspirin?”
“No, that’s okay. You know what, I might head back to school. I have that exam on Monday and everything. Would it be all right if I didn’t go to the after-prom? I could still drop you off.” He didn’t meet my eyes when he spoke.
“I thought you were spending the night.”
Conrad fumbled with his car keys and mumbled, “I know, but I’m thinking now that I should get back….” His voice trailed off.
“But I don’t want you to leave,” I said, and I hated the way I sounded like I was begging.
He jammed his hands inside his pants pockets. “I’m sorry,” he said.
We stood there in the parking lot, and I thought,If we get inside his car, it’s all over. He’ll drop me off and then he’ll drive back to school and he’ll never come back. And that’ll be it.
“What happened?” I asked him, and I could feel the panic rising up in my chest. “Did I do something wrong?”
He looked away. “No. It’s not you. It has nothing to do with you.”
I grabbed his arm, and he flinched. “Will you please just talk to me? Will you tell me what’s going on?”
Conrad didn’t say anything. He was wishing he was already in his car, driving away. From me. I wanted to hit him.
I said, “Okay, fine, then. If you won’t say it, I will.”
“If I won’t say what?”
“That we’re over. That, whatever this is, it’s over. I mean, it is, right?” I was crying, and my nose was running, and it was all mixed up in the rain. I wiped my face with the back of my arm.
He hesitated. I saw him hesitate, weigh his words. “Belly—”
“Don’t,” I said, backing away from him. “Just don’t. Don’t say anything to me.”
“Just wait a minute,” he said. “Don’t leave it like this.”
“You’re the one leaving it like this,” I said. I started to walk away, as fast as my feet could go in those stupid heels.
