The words rolled off his tongue, like he’d learnt them all by rote or used them many times before. It was by far the most insane thing I’d ever heard. What did you have to do to someone to take a part of theirsoul?
‘I don’t understand. What did you actually do to them?’
He tutted, closing more of the distance between us. ‘I just answered that question. You just don’t want to understand, because you’ve spent your whole life thinking in the patterns that have been laid out for you, and now you can’t stop.’
He paused, still a step’s length away from me: an eloquent look, a jeering smile. I almost laughed when I realised he wasn’t speaking in metaphors. The image he had used was, for him, a mirror of the truth.
I let out a breathless sound. ‘You’re serious? You think you can get into other people’s souls and… drain their energy? And you’re saying that’s what you’re doing with Zoe?’
Ashton’s lips twisted into a look of mock contrition. ‘I admit, I’ve bent the rules with her a little. We’re not really supposed to feed on any one moth for too long. Gets a bit dicey–you might burn them so badly they just drop dead. But Zoe is exceptionally strong. Anybody else would have died ages ago, the amount of energy I’ve been draining from her over this span of time.’
Impulsively, I moved towards him, until our bodies were almost touching. ‘She is dying. She’s almost gone.’
‘Hmm. I suppose I have been overdoing it a bit lately. Your fault again.’ He raised a hand and stroked my hair, so fleetingly that I couldn’t tell if he had actually touched me. ‘I can get a bit tetchy when someone’s trying my patience. Zoe was just a way of making up for it. If it’s any consolation, I’l keep my hands off her from now on. After tonight, I can’t afford any more involvement with your social circle. It would raise too many questions.’
I didn’t fail to notice the threat in his words, but all I could think about was Zoe. For months, Ashton had been the centre of her emotional life. She had readily made excuses for him every time he let her down, saw depth in every word he said, no matter how shallow, spun rose-tinted magic out of every meaningless moment. She had been sure he liked her just as much as she liked him. She wasin lovewith him, and he had deliberately exploited that, while feeling nothing remotely comparable in return. While feeling nothing for herat all.
‘You couldn’t care less about her, could you?’
Ashton laughed softly, and for a fleeting moment I hoped he would deny it. Despite everything I knew about him, despite all I’d just learnt, I would have preferred to know that even a psychopath like him had feelings for her than to have it confirmed he didn’t give a shit.
‘Of course not. We couldn’t care less about any of you, Mabel.’
And just like that, the last trace of hope I’d had in him was gone. Right from the start, Ashton had struck me as unnatural, like an over-elaborate, perfect image of a human being. An artifically created construct designed to put forward an illusion that adapted to other people’s desires. A fake smile instead of a filter, charm instead of Photoshop. Blake may have been a liar, but Ashton was an actor. Someone who could slip on personalities like masks. But this, this was his true face.
Ashton sighed. ‘Don’t look at me like that. I’m not crazy, I’m just honest. That’s what you wanted.’
‘And why are you being honest? Why are you confessing to multiple murders?’
The corners of his mouth lifted. ‘Oh, come on. Don’t disappoint me.’
I’d read enough thrillers to know what he was implying. Even so, it was an effort of will to say it out loud. It was just so absurd. I was twenty years old, an ordinary student at an elite British university. I was standing in front of an educated, affluent young man my own age–with a friendly smile and nails that were better manicured than mine. And yet the truth lurking in his eyes was this: ‘You’re saying I won’t get the chance to tell anybody. You don’t want to have dinner with me. You want to kill me.’
‘Blake was right. You really are very intelligent.’ Ashton cocked his head, and the light from the lamp behind him dazzled me.
I lifted my chin. Whoever he thought he was, I was still me, and I was in control over how this played out. ‘Then let me make one thing clear: you will never get me to jump off a bridge or a roof or even a table. I will never do what you tell me.’
‘I will admit you’re tough to get at. Some people lock their souls away in little cages, you know. Not brittle little walls of glass, but metal and concrete. Tough to break open. We all sensed immediately what a challenge you would be.’ He tapped at the hollow of my throat, which was bared between my scarf and the collar of my jumper. ‘Shall I tell you something interesting? You made those walls thinner for one of us. Being around Blake made you open up. That’s why he had such an easy time with you. Easier than I’ll have, and tonight hasn’t done anything to change that.’ He let out a noise of resignation. ‘But, oh well. I’m strong. Stronger than you, that’s for sure.’
I struggled to take what Ashton was saying seriously, but at the same time, nothing about him suggested he was joking. I went hot, then cold, when I realised what that meant.
I was on a bridge in an empty corner of the university, alone with a man who had just announced he was going to kill me. Beyond the flickering lamplight, the world around us was bathed in the colours of night, a painting in shades of blackish-blue and shadow. The sky was starless, the water beneath us clouded and murky, and the cold came creeping towards me through the metal bars on either side. It pinched at my calves through my tights, as if trying to make me run. Yet I couldn’t even bring myself to move aside.
‘You’re completely out of your mind,’ I blurted. ‘You can’t seriously think that’s true. That you can make me do whatever you want.’
‘Of course I can. And I’m not just going to make you jump. That would be far too quick.’ Again, he leant in, this time so far that the tip of his nose almost brushed mine. Despite the cold, it wasn’t red. Traces of mulled wine lingered at the corners of his mouth. ‘I want you to suffer while you lose everything, so I’m going to really take my time. Only then will I take the final piece of your soul, so that nothing will be left of you once you finally fade.’ His voice grew quieter with every word, until it died away completely. Its waves lapped against my face. They were ice water. I shivered.
‘You’re sick,’ I whispered.
A smile played around his mouth. ‘I’m powerful. Sometimes it’s easy to get those things confused.’
My heart hammered in my chest, but I didn’t move. Part of me sensed that Ashton was waiting for the fear to take over. That was why he’d sown the seeds of it inside me instead of just doing what he was going to do. He was enjoying this. He wanted to see me afraid. And although I knew I should be, my mind refused to fully yield. Every ounce of pride and self-control I had was tearing it up at the roots. Not all of it, but some. And that was all it took. Too much fear was paralysing. But a little of it awoke the urge to act. To fight back.
My hand closed more tightly around the cup, as liquid spilt over the rim. ‘So this is where the nice part of the evening ends, is it?’
‘This is where everything ends, Mabel,’ Ashton replied, his voice still friendly.
I nodded. ‘Okay.’ Then I flicked my wrist.
