What’s your problem?he had shouted yesterday, as he shoved me out of the front hall. My knuckles throbbed from the blow to Victor’s chin, my temples with the onset of a migraine, and the rest of me with… everything. There was no answer he or I would understand, so I simply turned on my heel and left.
‘How did the conversation go?’ I asked.
‘Shit. Our dear leader is a little on edge, given the latest turn of events.’ Ashton coughed into the back of his hand. ‘He said this is beginning to feel eerily familiar, and he isn’t happy with how the last time turned out.’
‘Well he’s not wrong, is he?’ I tilted back my head, looking up at the sky above. No clouds, only delicate streaks of cold and a gathering dusk. On the news they’d said a meteor shower was on its way. It made my heart flutter to hear it. ‘Do you think about her much?’
Even without looking at him, I knew he’d tensed up. ‘Why? Are you getting sentimental?’
‘Maybe.’ I smiled weakly. ‘I miss her. I think about her a lot. Every day, actually.’
‘Yeah, well, that’s not going to bring her back,’ he replied, so gruffly that I didn’t respond. Ashton defended his boundaries firmly, and he’d walled off this topic years ago. The slightest mention of it and I could see him fighting not to leave. Or to throw me off the bridge.
‘What’s happening with Paulina?’ I asked evasively. After all, she was the reason why Ashton had been called in for a chat at the vice-chancellor’s office. Paulina and June, two names, two people, two mistakes, which naturally hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Ashton put one foot up onto the balustrade and leant back against the finial. ‘I can’t believe you go to the effort of remembering those names.’
‘Not all of them, Ash. Just the ones who end up in hospital because of us. It’s a matter of respect.’
He tapped the ash off his cigarette on the stone next to him. ‘Brooks sees it the same way we do. There are only two options.’
‘Then we’ll take them, and be done with it. We’ll just leave her in peace,’ I suggested, careful to sound calm. ‘I went to see her after you took care of it. She’s strong, but notthatstrong. Even if she recovers, she’s no threat.’
Ashton was spinning a lock of his hair between two fingers. I knew he kept toying with the idea of chopping them all off. But no matter what he said, there were rules by which even he abided. Especially because he was checked more often than the rest of us. There were advantages and disadvantages to being so close to Henry. ‘There will always be a slight risk that she’ll remember.’
‘Then we’ll keep an eye on her.’
‘Because we’ve got nothing better to do?’
‘All right, then what do you suggest?’
He regarded me soberly. ‘You know what.’
Of course. The simplest thing, the most obvious, the right thing to do for us, although it hadn’t felt right to me for a very long time.
‘Then why haven’t you already done it?’
Ashton sighed and jumped down next to me. He picked up his coat and shrugged it on over his green pullover, although his skin glowed rosy pink despite the cold. ‘Because that’s the one rule I never break without permission, my dear. I prefer to keep the family peace. An angry Henry isn’t something I take lightly.’
He patted my shoulder, but I didn’t fail to notice the way his hand brushed searchingly over my bare neck before he let me go. I was so relieved by the satisfied look in his eye that I exhaled a little too loudly. What Henry was to Ashton, Ashton was to me.
‘Which is precisely why Brooks and I have decided to tell him. Let’s let them decide how to solve the problem.’
I froze, my short-lived calm washed away by a rush of panic. I stared dumbfounded at Ashton, who was already walking off towards the college. ‘But then they might just show up here.’
He turned to me, kept walking backwards. ‘Then so be it. You’ll survive a few days in a student room, for appearances’ sake. After all, isn’t that what we do best?’ He threw out his arms, grinning. ‘We are the perfect illusion.’
He strode off before I had the chance to respond, although in any case there was nothing to be said. Again, I wanted to deny it, but no matter how many lies I told, that particular truth wasn’t one I could hide from myself.
Chapter15
Mabel
‘Do you think my sister would like a clothes steamer?’ Zoe sucked her bottom lip sceptically between her teeth, scrolling on her phone.
It was the first of December, and Zoe was spending most of her free time hunting for the perfect Christmas presents for her family. I was more than happy to talk her out of buying one for me.
‘I don’t know Lydia well enough to say, I’m afraid. But isn’t her fiancé a millionaire? Why are you even giving her anything?’
