Just as I was about to dive down, I noticed a pale flash a few yards away, right underneath the bridge. My heart squeezed painfully as I recognised the blonde hair.
I swam towards Paulina, swallowing riverwater as I went. I could no longer feel my hands, but I was still able to grip her body and turn her over. Her face glowed wanly in the darkness. Closed eyes, open lips, a bluish filter over her skin. I tried to say her name, but my voice was drowned in another swell of water. Her weight was pulling me under–I could feel the depths tugging at my feet. I tried desperately to keep a grip on the stone pillar, but my fingers only scrabbled hopelessly. My elbows kept knocking against it, and another nail tore. Even the pain was dark and soft. I barely felt it. All I felt was that I wouldn’t be able to keep this up much longer. I wasn’t a good swimmer at the best of times–I’d never make it to the bank with another person in tow. I dived under again, using all my strength to keep her above the surface. But just when I thought I couldn’t hold her weight anymore, it lifted.
A second later, a hand closed around my upper arm, dragging me up far enough to take a breath. I was still clutching Paulina’s shoulders.
‘I’ve got her, let go.’
The voice was very close to me, but I couldn’t see where it was coming from because the water had set my retinas on fire. Everything clouded, and I sank again. The grip tightened. ‘Mabel, let go!’
I blinked until the silhouette next to me finally came into focus. Blake had one arm wrapped around Paulina’s upper body, while with the other he was supporting me. I didn’t understand how he was staying above water, but I forced myself to let go of Paulina so he could relax his grip on me.
‘Can you make it out on your own?’
I nodded, coughed, urged my muscles to obey. Blake hauled her lifeless body through the water, taking the shortest route to the bank, and dragged her up onto the grass. My fingers slipped on the edge several times, but I managed at last to pull myself out as well. For a few moments I stayed crouching on the grass, until my breathing had begun to even out. Until then I didn’t want to risk standing up.
Blake was sitting a few feet away, next to Paulina’s slumped body. Beside him was a pile of fabric: it had to be his coat and jumper. He was wearing only trousers and a shirt, both sodden and clinging to his skin. He stared at me anxiously. ‘Are you okay?’
I nodded. My limbs were dead weight, my insides on fire. I was so nauseous I thought I was going to throw up, and I had the vague sense of blood trickling down my elbow. But none of that mattered. ‘What about her?’ I panted. Blake had rolled Paulina on to her side, and his fingers were resting on her throat. Like Jack’s had been, but different. He didn’t seem threatening, just worried. Or was that wishful thinking?
‘Her pulse is faint, but it’s steady. She’s alive.’
‘Then call an ambulance.’ My teeth were chattering, and I rubbed my arms. I waited impatiently for him to take his phone out of his coat, but he didn’t move. His eyes were on Paulina’s throat, as if sensing something that had stopped him in his tracks. I watched disbelief cross his face, closely followed by anger and… fear. ‘Blake,’ I hissed, then louder, and unable to explain why: ‘Cliff!’
He jumped, and I saw in his eyes a look I’d never expected to see: helplessness.
‘Either call an ambulance or give me your phone so I can do it, right now!’ I commanded as forcefully as I could, although I had no more control over my vocal cords than the rest of my body.
The seconds he stared at me felt like I was crashing through the water’s surface all over again. My breath caught, my heart clenched. His hesitation was such a slap to the face that I felt the tears well up. Just as I was reaching for his coat, he stirred, the blank mask dropping across his face as he took out his phone.
We sat there as we waited for the ambulance. Blake fetched my things so I could put on my coat. He draped his over Paulina, but a moment later his hand was at her throat again, and he left it there a long time. I wasn’t quite sure why: to make sure her pulse was holding steady, or… to check for something else. Jack’s touch, perhaps, although that made no sense. None of it made any sense.
Perhaps I didn’t even want to know what Blake as thinking or doing. Because although we were sitting so close that I could feel his warmth, I felt for the first time in those long minutes like I was seeing him the way I should have from the start: as a stranger.
Chapter13
Mabel
Ifidgeted restlessly in my seat. The voice of the professor, leaning against her desk at the front of the room, was so tightly interwoven with those of my fellow students that my ears felt blocked. No matter how hard I tried to pay attention, I’d barely heard anything of the seminar. Even Zoe, sitting next to me, seemed more on the ball than I was.
Ever since last night, my mind had been on other things– on the bridge, and the girl I’d pulled out of the water with Blake’s help. The paramedics had taken her away in an ambulance, assuring us her condition was stable, but the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach remained. I’d wanted to go to the hospital that same night, but they wouldn’t have told me anything–after all, I wasn’t family–and besides, I wasn’t really in any fit shape myself.
My body had been so cold that I couldn’t feel much. The river water had gnawed away at my muscles, and my thoughts were consumed with worry and confusion about Paulina and what had happened. Blake had walked me to my staircase, and when I nudged the curtain aside in my room, I saw he was still standing in the court outside, a dark outline that stirred up starkly conflicting emotions. Emotions I’d been ignoring ever since, almost as diligently as I’d been ignoring the one thing I was actually supposed to be concentrating on: my academic work.
With a furtive glance at the professor, I reached again for my phone. There were several texts from Davie, responding to a voice note I’d left him this morning, but that was all. I’d asked the hospital to get Paulina to call me the minute she was awake and up to it. That was almost five hours ago now.
Just as I was about to put the phone away, the screen lit up. One glance at the unknown number, and my pulse quickened. I hesitated briefly, knowing the professor hated it when students left the room in the middle of a seminar. Only a second or two, then I stood up with an apologetic gesture. I’d never have believed it, but this was more important than university.
As soon as I was outside, I took the call. There was a moment’s silence, then someone cleared their throat at the other end of the line. ‘Hey, I… so I don’t think we’ve actually ever met. This is Paulina. Paulina Gallagher.’
I breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Hey. So… how are you feeling? Are you still in hospital?’
‘I’m all right, just a bit of hypothermia and some bruises. They’re keeping me in for a few more days, but the doctor says I’ll be fine. I was lucky, and she told me that’s partly down to you. You were there yesterday when I…’ she trailed off, cleared her throat again. ‘She said you helped me.’
‘It wasn’t just me, but… yeah. I saw you jump,’ I explained in a low voice, retreating around the corner to stand in a large bay window. The corridor was empty. I could hear the muffled babble of voices behind a couple of doors, but otherwise there was only heavy breathing and rustling down the line, as if Paulina were fretfully smoothing her sheets.
‘Yeah, they said that too, but I don’t understand why I did it. I don’t… I don’t want to die.’
For a moment I hesitated. I didn’t want to overwhelm Paulina, but it was probably best to talk to her while the memory was still as fresh as possible. ‘I think someone made you do it. Just before it happened, I saw you: you and Jack. He said something to you, and straight after that you… ran to the bridge.’
