“Not one bit.” She gulps another mouthful of wine and slumps on the couch. I take a seat next to her, legs underneath me. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. I don’t want my father or the Irish mafia getting into your business, or your cousin’s.”
“You know Dante?”
“I knowofhim.”
She winks.
None of my shallow friends would have ever been this considerate. She withheld information, but I fully understand why she did it. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to help her escape the arranged marriage hanging above her head like a guillotine.
“You need me to lie for you? I’ll do it. You need me to find you a remote place to hide? I’ll do it.”
She takes my hand in hers. “Thank you, Loulou. I actually really needed this break, too. I need to find a solution, but with Jay and Benoit constantly worrying about me, it’s too hard to consider anything.”
“Do you have any ideas?”
“I negotiated to get my master’s degree first, but now, I have no intention of going back to New-York. I can’t marry him, Loulou.”
Her whole body tenses, like the very idea of marrying that man she’s engaged to is repulsive. I shuffle on the sofa and lay an arm across her shoulders, tightening my embrace in a show of support.
“I’ll do anything to help you.”
Mina gives me a tight smile but drops her head to the side of mine. We stay like this for a while, the silence comfortable. I already know Dante, Aleksei and Irina can’t help her. We don’t get involved with the Irish, that’s always been a rule. But I’m good at lying. If she needs to hide, I’ll help her.
“Make yourself at home,” Mina says after a while, getting up and guiding me to one of the guest bedrooms. “I’m going to have a bath. I’ll be back down for dinner.” She disappears up the the metal stairs leading to the second floor, an air of heaviness on her shoulders.
The room I’m staying in is cosy. Faux furs serve as curtains over the rectangle-shaped windows overlooking the Loch and the throw blanket is straight out of a commercial for Fall decor. It even smells like pine and comfort in here. The massive bathtub in the adjacent, open bathroom is what every woman’s dreams are made of.
Yet, it all feels a little lonely and closed off. If Mina comes down and needs a chat, I want to be there for her.
Arms full of my workbooks, my phone, and my beloved keychain I carry everywhere like an amulet, I set my study station at the large wooden table in the living room. It looks like it’s carved out of one single tree and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s even one from the forest on the land. With a cup of tea in front of me, my intentions are to focus on my degree.
My phone remains silent next to me but my eyes keep straying to it as if it would chime at any moment. I blocked him for a reason.
What was it again?
Oh yes, my stalker emptied an entire building of flats. And my belly has decided that butterflies are a good response to his psycho behaviour. And he killed someone and I want to leave this type of life behind, not chase it like my next fix.
After another thirty minutes of trying and failing to concentrate, I call Irina. She doesn’t answer. I try my dad and it goes straight to voicemail. Same with Diane. The irrational fear that they might be dead somewhere, that I’m going to be left all alone again, resurges and I have to wipe my hands on my loose joggers.
I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth a few times, calming my overactive imagination, but only marginally.
When I panic because a person I love isn’t answering a phone call, I know it’s not about getting attention and needing to be in the centre, but sometimes my brain forgets. I feel guilty for asking for more than people can give. The logical side of my brain takes the back seat, though. Because every single time, the memory of that night haunts me. The night when I lost them and everything changed.
Mum and dad were working for Don Ventura, Dante’s father, at one of the clubs when the Bratva attacked and killed everyone on sight. We’d been in a bloody feud for years over territory disputes and Don Ventura had refused the mediation of the Italian Cosa Nostra, the Mother Chapter. His brother and my mum lost their lives that night, as well as countless soldiers. The repercussions on the Russian side were just as disastrous and a peace treaty was negotiated on both sides, to avoid more lost lives.
My computer screen has turned dark in front of me, my tears flowing on my cheeks with no way to cut the outpouring of sadness and grief.
“Lucie?” a voice calls out to me and it takes me a few blinking seconds to realise it’s Mina.
She comes behind me and without a single word, she holds me tight, her chin dropping to my shoulder, cheek to my wet cheek.
My body racks with sobs. I hold onto her arms, clutching my friend to me so that she can’t leave like everyone else. She rocks us side to side, and we breathe together.
When I’m calmer, she pulls up a chair and sits next to me, never letting go of my hand.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I clear my throat. When was the last time someone asked me to talk about my feelings and actually listened? Never, I realise.
