His face constricts with confusion. “The blonde chick?”
I press the blade harder, nipping his skin.
“Okay, okay,” he pleads and raises both hands in surrender. “I won’t talk to her.”
“And spread the word on campus. Anyone who comes close, you’ll be held responsible.” I press the blade closer to his throat for emphasis.
His eyes close. He nods mindlessly, scampering away when I release him. Spineless piece of shit. But useful, nonetheless. I crush his phone under my boots and pick up the pieces to discard later. I hate littering.
The next day, I watch with an amused smile as the boy avoids Lucie’s gaze and picks a seat all the way at the front of class. Most people give her a wide berth. Good.
For days, I follow her home, like I always do, tempted to come closer just to smell her, but I stay in control.
The first night I was in Edinburgh, I entered every single flat in Lucie’s building and installed automatic lights that randomly switch on and off. It would have been too suspicious if the entire building remained in the dark for too long. I had hoped she wasn’t the type to send a casserole to announce her arrival to every single family.
As it turns out, she’s not. How could she when she bloody forgets to eat six nights out of seven?
She enters her building ahead of Milosh, and I rush back into my own flat, taking a seat at the window. One more evening of looking through and observing my thorny Lucie neglect herself. One more evening of pure anxiety, knowing she might pass out at her desk, without any food in her. No one to take care of her but me.
Her protection details have been doing a relatively good job of taking her to and from uni and making sure no one suspicious approaches her but once she’s home, all bets are off.
Now, she’s been in Edinburgh for ten days, and only did groceries once. I haven’t seen her at her kitchen, preparing food, nor have I seen any delivery person bringing her a hot meal from any of the many restaurants around in days. It’s driving me insane and though I promised myself I would stay in the shadows, I can’t take it anymore. I’m not only the monster under her bed that’ll make sure she’s safe. I’ll be her fucking butler, cook, cleaner, whatever she needs because obviously, my girl needs someone to care for her.
At two minutes past midnight, she jumps up from her slumped position at her desk, rubs her eyes and switches off the light before throwing herself into bed. She ate a pack of baby carrots for dinner and that was it. The blinds have stayed halfway up ever since she moved in and I have a growing suspicion they’re broken but I don’t see any texts to the London trio, or the bodyguards, about the problem.
My eyes stay fixated on Lucie’s window for hours, the pedestrian stopping in front of her building barely making it in my brain. They’re holding a leash with a tiny dog at the end, which seems to tremble like a leaf.
The insomniac and the dog remain still for a few minutes and my eyes stray back up to Lucie’s window, but not before I notice they look up towards mine. I’m too far up for them to see me and my lights have been switched off for a while to allow me better view of Lucie’s flat but their interest is unsettling.
I’m seconds from leaving my flat and confronting them when Lucie’s lights switch on again. I watch her step into her kitchen in nothing but a large tee-shirt that doesn’t reach her plump ass and barely-there panties. A shiver runs through me. I don’t want to look. I respect her privacy.Kind of. But she’s everything I’ve ever dreamt of and more.
She gulps a large glass of tap water, barely awake and looking even more vulnerable in her state of sleepiness. She also doesn’t drink enough water, running on coffee, and coffee. And more coffee.
If I were there, she’d have that glass of water on her beside table. I’d make sure she has what she needs close by. A warm blanket, maybe a heated water bottle for when she’ll have cramps for her period. I make a note to check tomorrow if she has all the supplies she needs. Her period is due in two days and since my girl can’t feed herself, chances are, she didn’t even think of getting tampons and that salted chocolate she loves.
When she returns to bed, I glance down at the street underneath us. It’s empty. I climb into bed, ready to make her life easier than it seems to be.
****
I was right.
No tampons, no pads, no heated water bottle or comfort food. I click my tongue as I rustle through Lucie’s bathroom and find none of what she’ll need tomorrow. Shaking my head, I place the period supplies in the cabinet underneath the sink, pick up the towel she abandoned on the floor and lay it on the towel heater for drying.
I get to the kitchen and arrange the things I got her. Prepared meals she’ll only have to heat in the micro-wave—not the healthiest option but I’m sure she’ll like the efficiency—, the sweets she loves, an assortment of different teas, and some chocolate-covered almonds for that beautiful brain of hers.
Peeking at her desk, I read the post-it notes about different topics she must be studying. I may enjoy coding but it was more of a necessity. Useful people don’t die. I have no love for big, brainy books and even less for sitting down for hours to study and listen to an old fart raging on about pattern recognition.
Everything I learnt about the human brain and psychology, I’ve lived through. It’s enough to know that my brother is a sadist, and not the kinky kind. Only the pain of others gets him going, especially mine. It’s been like this since we were kids.
Just behind the desk is her bed. The purple sheets are rumpled and I swallow. I can almost feel the warmth of her body, curling into itself at night.
I take a step forward.
Don’t do it, my mind screams at me.
Do it,my caveman brain replies. And my cock agrees.
The tee-shirt she wore to bed is piled next to her pillow. With trembling hands, I take it, lifting it to my nose as if my body isn’t my own anymore. Her perfume assaults my senses, bringing me back to when she hugged me, chest pressing to my stomach and ear settling on my heart. Underneath the flowery scent is something purely her.
