I frowned.“That we need help?That they can learn?That they have to learn, and while the middle of a war isn’t exactly the optimal time—”
“No, it’s ludicrous!”
I stared at him some more.And maybe it was because I’d just woken up, but none of this was making sense.“And the alternative is?”
“Arnou, of course!I was planning to borrow some people for the next few months to help us out, good people, experienced people—”
I stopped him with a hand on his leg, one that clenched reflexively and not lightly.Inside my head, someone was howling, but I didn’t need it.I’d grown up with a High Clan mother, and I could see her face right now if that had been suggested to her.
Not that it would have been, because no one was that crazy.
Except my fiancé, apparently.
“From Arnou?”I repeated carefully.
“Yes.They have the expertise we need and can be relied on to keep their mouths shut in case anything else goes…” he trailed off at my expression.“What’s wrong?”
For a moment, I just stared back at him.This new clan had been Cyrus’s brainchild, not mine.And yet, he didn’t seem to get how that worked.
He didn’t seem to get it at all.
“Most people already view us as an offshoot of Arnou,” I reminded him.“As some weird experiment Sebastian is running that will eventually fall apart because you can’t make a real clan out ofvargulfs.Are you trying to prove themright?”
He frowned.“I’m trying to make this work with no plans and no blueprints.Nobody has done this before—”
“And nobody may ever again if we fail!”
“I know that!”he got up and walked around the room, giving the impression that he needed to move.“I think about that every day.This has gotten big—too big—too fast, and I’m out of my depth here.I didn’t realize how much until you were down for the count, and I was getting dozens of phone calls a day asking me questions I didn’t know the answers to.And still don’t!”
He sat back down and looked at me seriously.“But I need them, and Arnou can give them to me.To us.They can provide a clan structure overnight!”
And yes, they could.But all I could see was Noah’s surprise when he realized how large our clan was now, or when it dawned on him that the new arrivals might actually become family.He hadn’t thought about it, because even our own people didn’t see us as a real clan yet.
And if we took help from Arnou, they never would.
“It would be easier,” I agreed.
“But?”Cyrus said, because he knew me, and there had been nothing in my tone that was encouraging.
“But it won’t work.I feel like crap.I’d rather let somebody else handle this, and I hate that you’ve had to manage everything on your own for almost a week.But—”
“Lia, they’re ourallies—”
“Allies.Yes.But they’ve been acting more like our masters.Where was the alliance when we were begging for help in Tartarus?Where was it when they stopped Chay from going after Jace the morning he ran away?They knew he was ours; they could smell us on him.But they held him up anyway, harassing him because they disapproved of someone like that being even slightly associated with them.
“You’ve seen the looks, the sneers, the side eyes.Even Sienna thought nothing of perusing the rolls of our clan members and picking out whoever she wanted, like ordering off a menu!And has now arbitrarily decided that some of them, whoever she and the other clans want, I guess, will join them to fill out their ranks—”
“She’s trying to help—”
“I know that, but she still did it!It’s no different than Sebastian deciding we’ll be his little strike force.Everyone thinks they can co-opt our people, use us how they will, and support us if and when they feel like it, all while looking down their noses with an expression that says they smell something bad!”
“You may think we’re allies, Cyrus, but the other clans don’t.They don’t see us at all.Not as a clan, not as anything but a garbage can for them to dig through, and see if maybe there are a few diamonds in the rough that somehow got tossed out with the trash.And if we allow their people in here to boss our members around, they never will.”
“The same will be true if we fall apart,” he pointed out tightly.“We need to prove ourselves, need legitimacy, need respect, but what do we have?We won in Tartarus and again at HQ, but—” He cut off abruptly.
“But what?”
He looked at me, and somehow the dark bangs falling into his eyes made the very large and imposing man appear boyish.Specifically, like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar, because he hadn’t meant to say that.Something that did not improve my mood.
