“How about this? I will get you a funnel cake, any one you want, and then you can tell me about it.”
He thinks about it before he nods.
We head over to the funnel cake truck. I smile when he orders the one with the most sugar and fried Oreos. After I pay, I lead him toward a picnic table.
Once we sit, I steal a piece of his funnel cake.
“Hey. Mom, you said it was mine.”
I give him a look. “If you talked. I don’t hear words coming from your mouth.”
He sighs. “They are doing a career day at school. Most of the kids have their parents coming.”
“Oh. I can come. Tell me when.”
He shakes his head. “All my friends have their dads coming. They asked about mine, and I didn’t know what to say.”
My heart jumps in my chest. Even thousands of miles away, Evan is still hurting my boy, and there’s nothing I can do to make it better.
“I’m sorry, honey. I know it’s hard not being able to talk about him, but it’s for the best. We don’t want him finding us.”
“That’s not the problem. I said something I shouldn’t have, and now they are going to make fun of me.” He grumbles, looking down at his funnel cake without eating it.
“What did you say?” I ask him.
“I told them Mac was my dad. They think I am really cool, but Mac isn’t going to come to school. He won’t pretend to be my dad. I wish he were, though. He is way better than the real thing.”
I suck in a breath. I like that he likes Mac, but I can see what he means. We can’t ask Mac to play the role. The truth is, as much as Mac might like us, the kids are not his responsibility.
“How about we tell them he couldn’t make it and I come instead?” I offer.
He shrugs. “I guess.”
I hate how upset he is. I wish we weren’t here, that we didn’t have to do this. That his father wasn’t an abusive piece of shit who never cared about any of us.
Reaching out, I grab his hand.
“It will all be okay. I promise.”
He continues to eat in silence. Picking up my phone, I text Mac.
Me: Let’s switch. I think Tanner needs guy time.
Mac: Can do. Emily wants to go to the craft tent anyway. Where are you?
Me: Funnel cake.
He doesn’t respond, but minutes later, he is walking up with Emily in his arms.
“Mommy, they are making bracelets. Can we go?”
I smile. “Of course. Sit with your brother a minute. Tanner, will you share?”
He nods, not looking up as I pull Mac aside.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I guess some kids at school are having their dads come in for career day. It has him pretty down.”
