Is this how it could have been all along? If I had met Mac instead of Evan, is this the life we could have had?
I know there is no point in thinking about what could have happened if things were different, but I can’t help it.
I might not be able to change the past, but I can make changes to my future. I only hope Mac is okay with being front and center in my plans.
The ride back is a bit rougher than the ride out. I have Tanner and Emily in my captain’s seat, holding one another. Jane stands next to me, her body tense. I don’t like knowing she is worried.
I reach over, grabbing her hand. She takes it, giving me a smile. I like that she feels comfortable enough to accept me in front of the kids. I know it is a delicate situation, but she is allowing it to happen.
I think she feels where this is going like I do. We are letting the pace set itself, but I feel like we are inevitable, that they are already mine.
When we get back to the dock, I turn to her.
“I’m sorry. We should have left sooner, but the kids were having so much fun.”
“It’s okay. We aren’t used to boats. It wasn’t something we were allowed to do,” she tells me.
I cup her cheek. “We can go out anytime you want. I can even teach Tanner to fish next summer. Red snapper season is a big thing here.”
“If he wants to go, I would love that.”
I pull back from her and look at the kids. They are both sleepy.
“Okay, I will go get the truck and back it in. I will need you to pull it up once I get the boat on. Do you think you can do it?” I ask her.
“I think so.”
I nod. “Good.”
It doesn’t take us long to get the boat loaded. Jane did an amazing job helping me. Once the kids are loaded in their seats, they each fall asleep.
“I think we wore them out,” I tell her as we start the drive back to the house.
“They had a blast. Thank you for taking us.”
Reaching across, I grab her hand. “I hope you know I would spend every bit of my free time with all of you if I could…if you would let me.”
She smiles. “I mean, the kids do want to go to the fair in two weeks. I said no because of the crowds, but maybe you want to take us?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. “I will get us tickets. Do they like rides? I will get wristbands too. They have music as well. We can check out the lineup. We can go every day if you want.”
She laughs. “They still have school, but yeah, let’s take a look at what they have going on.”
I like that we are making plans for the future together. I love that her hand is still in mine. When we pull up to the house, she smiles.
“I have to get them washed up and ready for bed, but we had a great time,” she whispers to me.
Leaning over the center console, I take her cheek in my hand and press a kiss to her lips.
“It was the best day of my life,” I tell her honestly.
Then I pull away, getting out of the truck. I help her get the kids into the house and leave her to her routines as I head next door.
There is no sleep for me, though. No, all I can think about is the way she tastes on my lips. Or the way she wore the most simple bathing suit, yet looked like a damn model.
I had pushed the thoughts down all day, but now that I am alone in my own home, I let them run through my head.
Every touch. Every look. Everything about her.
