Then I pull away and walk out of her house before I do something crazy like claim my woman for good.
“I’m so excited to go to Mr. Mac’s house,” Emily tells me.
“Are you?”
“Yeah, he’s the best. He doesn’t get upset like Daddy did, and he always has fun with me,” Emily says as she swings her arms around.
She has no idea that her words slice me to my core. I hate that I was married to someone who she feared. It’s a gut punch to know that no matter how much Tanner and I tried to shelter her, she still saw more than any child should ever see.
“We’re going next door?” Tanner asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“We are,” I tell him.
His little brows furrow as he looks to the side. He looks like he wants to say something, but nods in acceptance.
For a moment, I contemplate telling Mac that we can’t come over, that one of the kids is sick, but knowing Mac, he would show up with all the supplies to make them better.
I won’t cancel, though. If we eat with him, it’s one less night that I have to cook, which means our food budget stretches just a little further. While that is a big positive, there’s also the little fact that I want to have dinner with him. For some reason, I like spending time with him. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe around another man. Something about Mac makes me feel like I can relax. Like my fight-or-flight mode switches off, and I can just be.
“Is it time?” Emily asks as she bounces.
“Yep, let’s go,” I tell her.
We leave through the back door and head across the backyard and into Mac’s. Emily runs ahead and knocks on his sliding glass door before she lets herself in.
“Mr. Mac, I’m here!” she yells.
“Emily, you can’t just let yourself into other people’s homes,” I scold her as I step inside.
“But Mr. Mac isn’t just anybody, Mommy. Plus, he told me I could always come here if I needed. Tanner too,” she tells me.
Mac smirks as he looks over at me. “Yeah, Mommy, I’m not just anybody.”
I roll my eyes as I bite back a smile.
“Is there anything I can help with?” I ask, changing the subject.
“If you guys can help me carry everything outside, I would appreciate it,” he says.
The kids and I line up and grab what he has on the island. The kids walk ahead of me and set the food down on a picnic table that wasn’t there before.
How did I miss that? For crying out loud, I walked right by it.
Blinking, I take in the rest of his yard, and my heart clenches at what I see. He’s got a soccer ball lying in the grass. A bottle of bubbles is on the edge of the table, and a massive box of chalk is lying on the patio. All things that weren’t here before.
Tears well in my eyes when I realize what he did. He bought it for them.
Gratitude fills me.
He went out of his way to make my kids feel more comfortable at his place. Not only that, but he did it without having to be asked.
Evan would never.
He hated chalk with a passion. I would have to wash off the driveway every day in the summer before he got home so he wouldn’t see it. He thought bubbles were a waste of money, and instead of a soccer ball, he would only let Tanner play with a football, even though he hates the sport.
When Tanner expressed his interest in hockey…
I push the memory away before I can spiral.
