Looking back, I should have listened to my friends, but I didn’t. I didn’t know any better. Then again, what eighteen-year-old does?
Watching Kelly and Sloane interact…I want that. I want that kind of friendship again. I just don’t know how to go about it. Yeah, I have Bertha and Mac in a roundabout way, but it’s not the same. She isn’t here, and well, Mac is Mac. He’s a man, and to be honest, I think I need someone to talk to about these conflicting feelings I have been having for him.
“Jane,” Sloane says.
I shake my head, pushing my depressing thoughts to the side.
“Sorry, I zoned out. What’s up?”
“We were wondering if you have any plans this weekend. We’re having a barbecue at the clubhouse and thought of you. You could meet some people, maybe make some friends. I know how hard it is when you’re the new person in town,” Kelly says.
“I-I don’t know…”
Yeah, it sounds nice, and I know I was just thinking about how I want to make friends, but would it really be smart to get any more involved with these people? Plus, the kids.
“Come on, you know you want to…” Sloane drawls.
“What does Jane want to do?” Mac grumbles as he walks into the lobby, pulling all of our attention to him.
“We are trying to convince her to come to the clubhouse this weekend for the barbecue,” Kelly tells me without batting an eye.
Shit.
I was supposed to invite her, but I never got around to it.
I’m a fucking idiot.
The woman goes to three places—work, home, and the store. That’s it. She needs more social interaction than that.
“I-I can’t. I have my kids. Besides, it sounds like it’s a family thing,” Jane says weakly.
“It’s not just a family thing. Friends come too. As for your kids, they can come too. Smoke insisted it be kid-friendly. They will be well entertained, I promise,” Sloane tells her.
“It is completely family-friendly for the most part. At least it is until after dark, but I bet you’ll want to take them home to get them in bed. I promise you’ll love it,” Kelly amends.
“I don’t know…” Jane says, looking completely uncomfortable.
I clear my throat, making her look toward me.
“You should come. The kids will have a blast, and I think you will have a good time too. It’s time for you to start setting down more roots here,” I tell her.
“Are you sure?” she asks softly.
She’s not asking me if I’m sure she should come. She’s asking me if I’m sure it’s safe for her to do this—that she won’t be found.
I get it. The fear for her is real. This is all new to her. Hell, it wasn’t that long ago that she escaped her prison. I don’t blame her for being scared, but she needs this. I don’t know why, but I want her to do this. I want her to make friends and have people she can count on. I want her to have people she can turn to when shit gets heavy.
As much as I hate it, I can only do so much. I can’t force her to open up to me, and I’m sure there is shit she needs to get off her chest that she doesn’t want to talk to me about. Things that she will only talk to a woman about, and right now, we have two in the room who I’m sure are more than willing to take that burden from her.
Hell, I know Sloane and Kelly wouldn’t blink twice.
“Yes, I’m sure,” I tell her after a minute. “It’s here at the clubhouse. You haven’t been back there yet, but it’s as safe as it is here. Safer even.”
We watch as Jane takes a shaky breath and then nods.
“O-okay, but only for a little bit,” she says reluctantly.
“Yay, I’m so excited!” Kelly says as she claps her hands together.
