She is excited about school. Most kids hate school, but she is happy to go because not only will it get her out of the house, butit gives her a chance to meet new people. Friends, something she used to have a lot of.
It almost hurts thinking about how much she wants to be away from me, but I know it has nothing to do with me.
Tanner, on the other hand, doesn’t want to go. I can see the worry in his eyes. He doesn’t want us to be separated. That isn’t healthy either. He needs to get back to the boy he once was.
That’s how I know I’m making the right decision. I need him to heal, and keeping him cooped up isn’t going to help with that.
Still, the thought of them being away from me causes me anxiety. We’ve spent so much time together recently that the thought of them being away from me almost feels like I’m missing a limb.
It’s fine, though. Everything is fine. They need this. Hell, I need this. I’ve had a week to wrap my head around it.
“Mom, are you okay?” Tanner asks, his eyes showing his concern.
This is for them.
“Of course. Now come on. We need to get outside so you can get on the bus.” I force a smile.
He looks skeptical, but follows me out the door.
Twenty minutes later, they are on their way to school. As I ride in the back of the rideshare to Saint’s Garage, guilt settles in.
I should have taken them to school. It’s their first day at a new place, and I should be there to make sure they find their way.
It would have required two rideshares, though, and I don’t have the funds for it. Shit, I don’t even have the funds for the one I’m currently in. It’s bad enough that the kids’ school supplies magically appeared on my front steps after I told Bertha that I was trying to figure out how to buy everything. In all reality, I have the money, but I need to be careful with how much I spend and how.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for Bertha and Mac, but I can’t help but feel like I owe them. That someday they will call in an IOU that I won’t be able to cash in. No one does something like this out of the goodness of their own heart, not in my experience. Right?
The car comes to a stop in front of the garage. I thank the woman, giving her a small tip in the app as she drives away. I take a deep breath as I stare at the building.
This is it.
All I have to do is go in here and do a good job. Earn a paycheck to provide for the kids and maybe, if I can manage it, save some money for my own car, something I desperately need.
If I have a car, I won’t have to rely on anyone else. Then, when he comes searching for me, the kids and I can take off on our own. We won’t need to beg and plead with strangers to help us out again.
It worked out for the best, though. This place has been a blessing for us. I hope he doesn’t find us at all, or at least for a very long time.
I’m here. We’re safe, we have food on the table and a roof over our heads, and now I’m starting a job while the kids start school.
It’s fine. Everything is fine.
Someone steps out of the garage bay, and I watch as they wipe their hand on a rag. It takes me a minute to realize that it’s Mac, and he’s staring right at me. For some odd reason, my heart kicks up as he walks toward me. Not because I’m scared of him, but because of the way he watches me. It makes me feel so safe and cared for. Something I have never felt before. That, and because he’s hot as hell—objectively, of course. Not that I would ever admit it out loud.
Men like Mac know they are attractive. They don’t need their egos stroked. He already knows he could have any woman.
It has me wondering if his nice guy routine is who he really is or another facade. I hate that Evan did this to me. I question everyone and everything.
“Morning,” he says huskily, drawing my attention back to him.
“Morning.” I meet him halfway and stop in the middle of the parking lot.
“Kids get off to school okay?” he asks, making my heart squeeze.
I should be scared by how focused on the kids he seems to be, but it’s a relief. I like knowing that if something happened to me, there is someone who would care for the kids. As much as I might doubt him, I know if push comes to shove, he and Bertha would get the kids out and safe.
“Yeah, they were excited,” I tell him, forcing a smile.
“Good.” He nods.
