One of the young boys who cleaned stalls hadn’t shown up today, but the work still needed to be done, so she was on shoveling duty. Given how Jake had left this morning, it was fuel to the miserable mood she was brewing, and an excuse not to get on a horse when her patience was so thin it would do no good. The last thing she needed was to lose her temper and mess up months of training.
So, as she worked, her mind took what had happened this morning and ran full tilt, analyzing his reaction to her reaction, playing it over and over, mad at herself. He’d shut down completely when she’d deflected his attempt to be sweet and loving.
He’d said theLword. Maybe not in the context of what her mother had meant, but it had spooked her, and her reaction had shoved him in the opposite direction of what she wanted.
He’d thrown a curveball at her, and she’d panicked.
After he left, she knew she’d fucked up, reacting how she had, wishing she wasn’t so messed up about letting someone into her heart again. All the reasons she had misgivings pushed to the surface. Trusting a man to mean what he said when it came to his heart. Trusting that how she was with him would be enough. Letting herself open up just to get hurt again because the big elephant in the room of Jake leaving when the ranch ownership was reverted still yawned in front of them.
Despite all that nonsense floating around in her brain, Liz knew she was falling for him. She just didn’t know how to go about actually telling him she was feeling more for him than she’d expected, and it was scaring the fuck out of her. And now? She’d likely given him the hint that it wasn’t possible.
She was stupid. So stupid.
Her eyes caught Jake and Brady walking down the aisle and she set the fork along the wall. They met up in the middle and Jake looked away, his shoulders hunching, his hands in his jeans pockets. Brady was watching both of them, eyebrows in his hairline. Likely she’d get a question or two from him later. Brady never missed anything, damn it.
“You seen Tan?” Brady asked, breaking the awkwardness.
“Yeah, no. Haven’t seen him, but Trevor said he went out on Chip mid-morning. I assumed he wanted a day to clear his head, what with those test results coming in and everything.”
“Not like him to bugger off like that,” Brady replied quickly. “Jake’s a little worried.”
She knew the look on Brady’s face. He was worried, too, but trying not to show it. Tanner sulked, but it never impacted the ranch. If anything, it meant he doubled down and took on more of the daily work, running himself to exhaustion so he wouldn’t have to think.
Liz pulled her phone out of her back pocket and called Tanner. It went straight to voicemail. Frowning, she texted him.
“Well, I can go look for him, you’re both busy,” Jake offered.
“And you’ll get lost. I’ll come with you. We can take my truck,” Brady said, slapping Jake on the shoulder. “I’ll go get it, you and Liz iron out this shit, okay?”
Brady gestured between them as he backed up, then turned and strode out of the stable. Liz closed her eyes and sighed, moving to lean against a stall wall. Of course he would stir that up and skedaddle. She opened her eyes and found Jake leaning against the opposite wall. He looked up at her, his face unreadable, his arms crossed.
He looked pissed off.
There was no one else around them, so she stood up and crossed to him, and looked up. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he said. His voice was tight.
“You’re still upset,” she said.
“A little worried about my brother,” he replied sharply.
“He’s a big boy, he’ll be fine. He makes good decisions,” she replied.
“We all are, Liz. But we’re always supposed to be fine, not make mistakes, not fuck it up, and that’s hard,” he growled, looking away from her, his jaw working.
It wasn’t about Tanner anymore. He was still mad about this morning, even if he couldn’t say it directly to her. She swallowed her pride and put a hand on his arm, making him look back at her.
“We don’t have time to really talk right now. But . . .” she said, unsure of what to say.
“I’m sorry about this morning,” he interrupted. “It won’t happen again.”
“Okay, then,” Liz responded, abandoning her original thought to invite him over tonight to get it all out. What was that all about? Apologizing for what? Staying over, or his about-face exit?
He sighed at her response and scrubbed a hand over his head. He was weighing something in his mind, and it was heavy, so she waited, removing her hand from him, worried that was pissing him off more. Was he going to tell her he had made a mistake? That this thing between them wasn’t a good idea anymore? Sure, he’d stayed the night, but that wasn’t that big a deal, was it? She’d already decided it wasn’t, if they could figure whatever this was out.
“Okay, I’m just going to say it. I know you said you don’t want serious. Casual, right? No strings.”
He reached for her, turning her against the wall, leaning in over her, their hips touching. A rumbling groan left his body as her hands flattened against his chest, and he closed his eyes for a moment, his jaw ticking. She ached to reach up and smooth her palm over the tense muscles, to calm him, but she resisted because right now he was trying to get something out and it might derail his thoughts. Thoughts she wanted to hear.
