Jake held the reins in his hands and fiddled with them as one side of his mouth lifted. “I’m not. If anything, I want to figure this shit out so we can maybe start over. Prove I’m not a useless citified idiot.”
She heard the frustration in Jake’s statement. Both these men needed to figure this shit out, but at least Jake was willing to try, it seemed. She didn’t answer him, choosing to let it lie. It was time to get a leg up and get into the fresh air. They all needed it
They finished tacking up, Jake proving efficient at bridling as well. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. She held up a hand to Trevor, who was pulling Finnegan out of his stall for her, having offered to tack him up so she could help with Jake’s horse.
“All ready?” Trevor asked as he handed the reins to Liz. She slid her eyes over her horse and, satisfied, nodded.
“Thanks, Trev. We won’t be out long. A couple of hours at most,” she said.
“All good. Go have some fun with this bunch. Or referee, maybe,” he replied, and winked before striding back into the stable.
Jake settled his father’s Stetson on his head. As she had expected, it fit perfectly, and he tipped it back and posed. “How do I look?”
She let out a snort of laughter, causing both Brady and Tanner to turn, and pulled the front down, settling it more over his forehead.
“Like a country music star ready to go on stage,” she joked, then patted him on the chest. “Seriously, though. Suits you.”
Which was the truth. He looked exactly like that picture of Brett standing in the middle of a sand ring, clipped from the paper after he won a roping contest. It hung on the wall of the back den in the big house with the ribbon. She wondered if Jake had seen it yet.
“Maybe I’ll wear this later too,” he said quietly, and grabbed her waist before she could step away, leaning in. “Would you like that?”
“Is that a promise?” she teased back, trying her best to hide how flustered the thought made her.
His eyes roved hers, the heat blazing out to her. Her breath caught in her throat. He was sexy as hell right now, almost as much as when he was in the kitchen cooking. It was attractive how capable he could look no matter what he was doing, and with his arm around her, her pulse rocketed in her ears.
“Anything for my girl,” he said, and then let her go to unhook Sandy from the cross-ties.
A weird sensation of fullness hit her like a hoof to her chest. He’d done it again, called her his girl. She shoved the odd feeling deep down and slammed the door in her mind, because that kind of hope and connection was not what she wanted at all, even if her body was responding to it. She cleared her throat and pointed behind her.
“I’m gonna go get on my, um, horse now,” she stuttered, and walked down the aisle before she gave her thoughts away, Finnegan hurrying to keep up with her.
Chapter Twenty-two
Jake had the reins in both hands, monumentally failing to sit the trot they had broken into, evidence that his horse was not exactly a smooth ride. He attempted a posting trot, remembering how he’d been taught to lift himself out of the saddle, up and down like a pogo stick, and his comfort grew. It was harder in the big saddle, but not impossible. Tanner gave him a strange look.
He heard Liz behind him, laughing at something Brady had said, and sighed inwardly. Tanner was barely moving in the saddle, the exact opposite of how he must look. He continued with his feeble efforts for comfort, his toes in the slightly too big boots he’d borrowed from the mudroom sliding in the stirrups. He lost his balance, cursing under his breath.
Tanner cleared his throat awkwardly and flicked a glance in his direction.
“Relax your back and open your hips. It’s easier to balance when you settle onto your seat bones. Dad’s old trail saddle is meant for sitting,” Tanner said.
Had he just talked to him directly?Jake nodded, deferring to his brother, tucking the other tidbit that he was riding in one of his father’s saddles away. He didn’t need to dwell on that right now or it would consume him, and he wouldn’t enjoy the ride.
He was determined to make the most of this, to understand the life he would’ve had if his mother had never taken him away. He felt out of place more often than not, but there was this hum of recognition in the background that wouldn’t go away. That where he was right now was important to be present for. Maybe it was opening locked memories, or he was connecting with his genetic heritage? It certainly wasn’t midtown Manhattan, the daily rhythm of the city fading each time he thought about it, and that stark difference made everything new he discovered about this ranch magnified.
“Thanks. A bit rusty,” Jake replied. He sat, gave it his best try, and as he relaxed his spine and sat deeper into the back of the saddle, it helped somewhat.
“Sandy’s got a long back, it makes her jog terrible. Can you gallop?” Tanner asked. “We’ll lope for a bit first, so you can feel it out.”
Jake took Tanner in as he spoke, envious of his brother’s effortless ease. He had one hand on his thigh, the other holding the reins loosely, the leather looped. The only sign of the tension Tanner carried with him everywhere was his scowl and shoulders so tense they were halfway to his ears. Jake wondered if Brett had been like that too.
Their eyes met, Tanner waiting for his yes or no. It was something, at least. He’d take this back and forth over shouting and insults.
“Sure,” Jake replied. His horse’s lope, which he seemed to recall was the same as a canter, had to be better than the teeth-cracking trot they had settled into.
Tanner whistled twice, and then he and his horse surged forward. Jake clucked at Sandy, and she followed suit, picking up a rocking cadence that he easily sank into. Much better. He looked quickly behind him, and Liz and Brady were close on their tails. Brady had a huge grin on his face, and he spurred his horse up beside Jake as Tanner’s pulled ahead, Chip tossing his head and squealing while Tanner muttered, “Hey, shithead, can it,” and tightened his reins.
“This is better,” Brady quipped as they loped along the gravel road. The sun was shining, there were a few birds out, and the breeze swishing through the long grass at the side of the road sounded soft and inviting.
