"The didgeridoo, yes. The tiger, no." He raised her list. "Your list will not be a challenge. I can have everything ready for you this afternoon. Is four o'clock acceptable?"
"Oh, yes. That would be perfect. Thank you."
He nodded so gracefully she almost felt like she was supposed to bow, or curtsy or something. Not that she'd ever curtsied in her life.
Confident the genteel concierge had the supplies covered, she decided to step outside The Mandeville for a few minutes—she still needed that fresh air.
Their mission was moving along quickly now. Tonight would prove eventful, one way or another. And her relationship with Knox had definitely morphed into something unexpected in the last twenty-four hours.
Getting shot three months ago forced her whole world to park on the side of life's highway. For months.
But in the past two days, every part of her life had shifted into drive, and the gas pedal hit the floor.
She was relieved to be working again. And her heart might burst if she let herself contemplate how glad she was to be rebuilding something with Knox.
But going from zero to sixty was making her head spin. She needed to take a breath.
She didn't have a destination in mind; she just wanted to walk in the sea breeze for a few minutes. But her feet brought her straight to the sand. Apparently, her feet knew to take her to a spot a hundred and fifty yards down the beach from the bombing site. She didn't need those memories hijacking her short respite.
No, this spot was peaceful. Her back to The Mandeville, this view held nothing but ocean and shoreline.
She would have felt content with the postcard-perfect scenery, but as a bonus, two dolphins breached the surface, flew through the air, and disappeared in the waves. They repeated the stunt in perfect unison. Over and over. Their synchronized performance, flawless.
And she was sure they were enjoying themselves. She didn't know a thing about dolphin nonverbal cues, or if that was even a thing, but she was still positive those two dolphins looked happy.
She wasn't sure why they reminded her of Knox and her. She doubted they had anything in common with dolphins. Except that she loved working with him. Loved being in-sync with him. So far, most of their 'in-sync performance' took place at work. Now she wondered what a life in unison with Knox, outside of work, might look like.
The thought was glorious and terrifying all at once. She knew she cared about him, but if she let herself fall . . .reallyfall . . .
What if he changed his mind? What if he didn't reciprocate? It would crush her. She'd lost him once—or thought she had—after the shooting. She never wanted to experience that kind of pain again. Was Knox worth risking her heart?
She knew what she wanted, but her fears made her head hurt.
Slipping off her shoes, she stepped onto the gritty sand. She needed to clear her mind.
She concentrated on the waves, the faithful rhythm, and the mind-boggling size of the ocean. Only God could create something so massive. Powerful, yet peaceful. Mysterious, yet steadfast. Deadly, yet life-giving. And at this particular moment—overflowing with breathtaking beauty.
A verse she'd memorized years ago floated in her mind.For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Psalm 95:3-5.
It's not like she didn't know God made the ocean. But for some reason, that verse settled over her with a fresh comfort she hadn't felt before—the entire, incomprehensible ocean was created and controlled by God. That was encouraging somehow. That the God she trusted was effortlessly regulating the tides and waves across the earth.
Trusted. Why did that word tug at her conscience?
She let the waves and seabirds serenade her for a few minutes.
She knew she trusted Jesus. So, why the whispering voice about trust? She felt the tug on her heart, but she couldn't for the life of her understand what the whisper was saying. It was like feeling guilty for something she couldn't remember doing.
Of course, there were plenty of things she should feel guilty about. But apparently, God was adding something to the list, and she didn't even know what it was.
She focused on the gorgeous view for another minute. She was grateful for the reminder of how beautiful and powerful God is, but she wished she felt more peace.God, would you please just tell me what I'm not getting? I'm not trying to be stubborn. But I still have anxiety that I can't even describe, and I desperately want to understand what you're trying to tell me.
Or maybe . . . maybe God was being silent. Maybe the whispering was a phantom sensation created by her over-thinking.
And now her head really hurt.
She glanced at the blue-green waves once more. No matter how confused or frustrated she felt, that view calmed her aching heart—at least a smidgen.
Stepping back into her shoes, she headed for the bistro. In search of coffee.
