He stands and starts to put on his clothes. “No way. I’m already thinking of which room will be the nursery. We can talk to Layla and Presley about things babies need. You should move in right away so we can start planning everything.”
He says it nonchalantly, like it’s not a big deal that I’d be moving in.
I can’t get a single word in as he seemingly plans the rest of our life before exiting the room to make us lunch.
What the fuck just happened?
I takemy time getting dressed because I don’t think I’m processing everything that has gone on today. When I woke up this morning, insta-family wasnoton my bingo card.
It’s like he decided the rest of our lives without consulting me. I have no idea what I want, but Daylen has unilaterally decided what it will be.
I think we need to confirm the pregnancy, and then we’ll have a conversation about things. I’m not ready for all this.We’renot ready.
Mary Poppins is out there whistling while making lunch as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. If I’m not mistaken, I think I hear BJ whistling with him. That can’t be.
The doorbell rings, and he shouts, “Can you grab that? I’m at the stove, and BJ and I are just finding our groove.”
“Sure,” I respond with my mind still spinning on its axis.
I open the door and see a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, unusually attractive Amazon delivery woman holding a small box. Her pretty face drops when she notices me. “Oh, is Daylen home?”
I cross my arms as a jealousy I’ve never before experienced runs through my body. “Are you on a first-name basis with all your customers?” I ask with a heavy dose of edge to my tone.
“Oh…umm…I…” She holds up a small box. “I have a delivery for him.”
I go to reach for it, but she pulls it back. “It has to be…signed for,” she lies. No one has to sign for Amazon deliveries. In fact, most of them don’t even ring the bell anymore. They just drop it, take a picture, and then leave.
I offer her my biggest fake smile. “Oh, well, I’m hiswife, so I can sign for it.”
Her face drops about twenty stories. Oh man, this is fun.
“He’s m…married?” she scream-asks. It’s more of a high-pitched squeal.
I nod. “Yep.” I rub my non-existent belly. “And we’re expecting our first baby. My crazy husband is convinced it’s a girl, but I don’t know. What do you think?”
If I thought her face was painted in horror before, I was wrong. She practically throws the box at me and leaves a trail of smoke as she runs back toward her truck and takes off.
I inwardly laugh as I close the door and walk back into the kitchen. Tossing the small box at Daylen, I nonchalantly say, “I can’t believe you banged your Amazon delivery woman. Is it the blue polyester uniform that does it for you?”
He turns his head from the stove and raises his eyebrow at me. “Don’t judge. She’s hot.”
“She is. Judge Century Club will not be happy,” I joke.
“It was before Vegas,” he immediately responds. “I’ve kept my word. Do you doubt me?”
In reality, I don’t doubt him. We’re not even together and yet I know he would never cheat on me. That realization is also a bit mind-blowing.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t doubt you at all.”
“Good. Honestly, I forgot about her. I guess a new Amazon delivery person is in my future. I hope the new one has the same gag reflex. Do you think that’s an Amazon hiring prerequisite?”
I cross my arms. “No way her gag reflex is better than mine.”
His smile widens. “Why don’t you get on your knees so I canreevaluate? Suck a Dick Sunday is coming up. It’s my favorite weekly holiday, but I’m willing to let you celebrate it a few days early.”
“Is that what I’m having for lunch? Humblecock cream?”
He lets out a huge laugh. “Oh man, you make me laugh. Our daughter will be funny with us as her parents. This kid is going to be the whole package.”
