“I…I…I.” I keep stuttering like an imbecile. Shit, Kennedy, get it together. “I don’t expect anything, but I feel strongly that you have every right to know. I hate when women keep it a secret as if it’s not also the man’s child just because he isn’t carrying it.”
Silence. More blinking by him. Maybe he’s having a stroke. Should I call an ambulance?
“Do you have any questions? I’m not sure I’ll have answers, but I’ll try my best.”
He continues blinking but doesn’t otherwise move.
“Please say something. I was flipping my shit the whole way over here. If you hate me and want me to leave, I will, but I need you to emote in some way.”
In light of him not moving, I start to get up, planning to get dressed to leave, but before I can do so, he grabs my arm and says, “Beau. Fucking. Fudd.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not Beau’s. It’s yours. I know that for sure. I haven’t been with anyone else since last year. I was a little trigger-shy about being intimate with anyone after New Year’s Eve.”
He shakes his head. “Boner Shake. We’re having a child conceived via Boner Shake.”
I bite back my smile. “I suppose that’s accurate. Perfect, let’s blame Beau.”
He looks at my stomach as if it shows anything, which it doesn’t, and then his eyes widen in what appears to be…delight. “Our kid is going to be the greatest athlete of all time,” he proudly and loudly announces.
I stare at him, dumbfounded. “That’s the first thing to come to your mind when I tell you, my forced husband, that I’m pregnant? That the kid will be a great athlete?”
“Not a great athlete,” he corrects. “The greatestathlete of all time. Think about her genes. Yours and mine together. She’ll be a prodigy. She’ll have the height, the coordination, everything.”
“It could be a boy,” I remind him.
This conversation is not going how I thought it would go. Not at all.
He shakes his head. “No way. It’s a girl. I’m already a #GirlDad. I have a #GirlDad hat that BJ gave me for Christmas last year.”
“BJ gave you a hat?”
He nods. “Yes.”
“Did she order it herself?”
He nods again. “Yes. She’s very smart.” His eyes widen again. “Holy crap, our kid will be smart too. You’re super smart.”
Maybe he really is having a stroke.
“Can we take a step back here?” I suggest. “I’m not sure you’re processing this information properly. Maybe you’re in shock.”
He shakes his head, and then BJ lets out a bark before climbing onto the bed, collapsing next to me, and resting her head on my stomach.
He gasps. “BJ knew. That’s why she didn’t attack you. That’s why her paw was lying protectively over your stomach. She knew her little sister was in there. It all makes perfect sense now.”
Yep, the guy has officially lost the plot.
I study his face carefully. “Do you have any questions?”
“When are you due?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. My best guess would be nine months from Boner Shake day?”
“What did the doctor say?”
“I haven’t seen a doctor yet,” I inform him. “I realized I was pregnant two hours ago.”
“And then you took a pregnancy test?” he asks.
