I twist my lips. “Of course I do. I’ve got a table made out of it at home.”
Vance and Beau spit in laughter. I snap my head toward Beau. He doesn’t normally laugh at my silly jokes.
My teammate and close friend, Beau Fudd, is a walking contradiction. The guy must be at least six feet eight inches and weigh well over three hundred pounds, all of which is muscle. He wears his dirty-blond hair super short, unlike me—I have a different hairstyle every week since my hair grows freakishly fast. People assume he’s a meathead, but he’s the exact opposite. He’s a genius. A genuine 150 IQ genius with multiple degrees, currently working toward his PhD.
“I can’t believe you laughed at my joke.”
He raises an eyebrow. “I laugh at clever jokes, not ridiculous ones. That was clever. Unlike the other day when you askedwhat do you call a deaf gynecologist?”
I smile. “A lip reader. I think it’s brilliant,” I proudly declare.
Beau shakes his head. “No, that’s ridiculous. I prefer thought-provoking comments. You can make sexual innuendos yet still be thought-provoking. They’re not mutually exclusive. Like, did you know orgasms dump oxytocin into a woman’s brain, which is why they become more attached and cuddlier after an orgasm? If you want a woman addicted to you, do your job as a man, and she’ll be all yours.”
I twist my lips. “So if I don’t want a woman to get attached,I shouldn’t make her come? Hmm, thatisthought-provoking, Fudd.”
He scowls at me but eventually turns his attention to Coach. “Coach, I saw on the news this morning that your daughter is going to be playing for the Beavers. You must be excited.”
Coach nods. “We’re thrilled to have Kennedy come home. She’s not big on visits. I’d love to get to see her more often.” His face lights up. “She’s such a talented athlete. Better than any of you knuckleheads. She’s great at everything. I’m hoping to get her to join my pickleball league. No one will expect her to be as good as she is. That’s the story of her life. Always underestimated.”
Vance and I exchange bemused glances. Coach loves that old-man sport of pickleball. He plays all the time. He’s tried to get us to play on a few occasions, but we always make excuses. We feel like it’s one step from retirement. When I’m eighty and can’t move anymore, I’ll learn to play that so-called sport.
“I didn’t know Kennedy got traded to the Beavers,” I admit. “I look forward to finally meeting her.”
Coach narrows his eyes at me. “Stay away from my daughter.”
I chuckle as I hold my hands up in defeat. “No ill intentions, I promise.”
I turn to Presley. “You happy to have your girl playing in town? I heard the good news.”
Our placekicker smiles widely. “Estoy tan feliz. I’m so damn happy to have my girl home all summer. The dual residency has wreaked havoc on our relationship. Now that we have the baby, it will be so much better this way. I feel like a huge amount of stress has been lifted from my shoulders.”
I give him a genuine smile. Presley is a good man who loves his wife, even though they bicker at times. “That’s awesome, buddy.”
He nods. “Yep, we’re having a celebratory dinner tonight.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m not sure yet.” He winks. “Let me give you a pro marriage hack.Never ask your wife where she wants to eat.”
“Why?”
“She’ll get pissed that you can’t read her mind as to what she wants. What I do say is,guess where I'm taking you?And whatever she says is where we go. It makes me look like the most attentive husband.”
I chuckle. “That’s kind of genius. And good advice. My dad gave me great advice recently. He said if it flies, fucks, or floats, it’s easier to rent it.”
Vance and Presley snort in laughter, but Coach looks at me with pure venom and mouths, “Stay away from my daughter.”
Beau rolls his eyes at my antics and tells Presley, “You should take her to that new place that opened on South Street. It’s very good. They have a high-protein section of the menu.”
Coach scoffs. “South Street? Parking is horrible down there. I’m at an age where not finding parking is reason enough to go home.”
I let out a laugh. Coach makes fun of his age all the time. In fact, he loves to talk about Gen X and how different they are than us.
Presley smiles. “Like I said, my wife is picking the restaurant; she just doesn’t know it yet.”
THREE
KENNEDY
