My laughter only grows. Holy shit. He had a Boner Shake and now has the biggest boner in creation. I guess that stuff really works.
He practically weeps, “I’ve jerked off more times than you can imagine. It won’t go down. I need a pussy. I need your pussy. My wife’s pussy is the bestest pussy I’ve ever had. I swear.” He drops to his knees. “Please. Name your price. I will take you on a shopping spree that putsPretty Womanto shame.Richard Gere is my bitch. No, he’syourbitch. Anything in the world you want. Please help me,” he whimpers.
“Get up, you moron. Come inside before you wake my neighbors. The old couple across the way have bat ears.” I point to his boner. “You’re going to scare them with that thing.”
He stands up and walks inside, still with a massive tent in his shorts. I close the door behind him, uncertain what to do.
He nods toward my vibrator, which I forgot was in my hand. “Busy morning for you too?”
I twist my lips. “Hmm. Something like that.”
He studies it more carefully. “Is that the JimmyJane 8800 Special Edition?”
I blink a few times in shock. “Why do you know that?”
He smirks. “Because I dated Jimmy and Jane’s daughter once. She asked me if I would be the dick model for it.” He nods toward it with a satisfied look on his face. “That’s my dick. Didn’t you recognize it?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Are you fucking with me right now?”
He grabs the vibrator and pulls down his pants. A massive boner bounces up and down. It’s oozing. He wasn’t kidding about the effects of the Boner Shake. Good lord, that thing is pulsating and angry.And mouthwatering.
Grabbing hold of his cock, he points to a slightly uneven ridge on the lip of the head. With his other hand, he turns the vibrator to show me it has the same ridge.
With a shaking finger, I point at the vibrator. “This is actually your cock?”
He nods emphatically. “Yes, just like I said. I was her dick model for this. Why do you think it’s the 8800? It’s a subtle nod to my jersey number. And why the hell else would I know the vibrator make and model number? I don’t usually see vibrators. In fact, it’s the only one I’ve seen in my life.”
I think my chin is on the floor. I’m speechless. The odd thingis that I bought it because I noticed the damn resemblance. I think he might be telling me the truth.
He clears his throat as he strokes his cock a few times, making a dull ache begin to take form between my legs, knowing the itch that beautiful cock could easily scratch for me. I can’t take my eyes off it.
“Can we please negotiate?” he pleads as I snap my head up so my eyes meet his again. “Anything, I mean anything you want is yours. Full disclosure, I will need at least three or four rounds to get this under control.”
I chew on my lips. Truth be told, I need this too. I want it. I wanted it weeks ago when we were watching television together. If he pushed things, I would have said yes back then.
I’m not giving in so easily though. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t fuck with him a little bit. An idea occurs to me. Staring at him, I announce, “I have conditions.”
Without hesitating and without an obnoxious reply, he nods. “Name them. Anything.” He reaches down to his shorts around his ankles and pulls an actual checkbook out of the pocket. “Anything.”
I grab the checkbook and toss it to the ground on top of his sweatshirt. “I’m not a hooker. I don’t want money.”
“Oookay. What do you want?”
I bite back my smile as I hold up two fingers. “I want two things. First, I want you to wear my jersey to my game tonight.”
“Done. Easy. I’ll wear it until the end of time. I’ll buy a thousand of them and wear them to every game.”
I nod. “Good. Condition two. Your first orgasm will be wherever and however I want to give it to you. There may be some spanking and other actions involved, but it’s one hundred percent under my control. After that one, you can fuck me however and whereveryouwant.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Can I do the minivan?”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Two in the front and five in the back.”
I bark out a laugh. God, this man does make me laugh sometimes. With a smile on my face, I nod in agreement. “Whatever you need to get off, but remember, your first orgasm is entirely under my control. If you don’t give it to me, the rest of the activities are off the table. And no visible marks on my body that could be seen in a basketball uniform. I have nationally televised games all week.”
He reaches for my flimsy tank top and rips it straight down the middle, all while shouting, “Deal,” before bending down and latching his mouth to my nipple.
