Vance isn’t out of the locker room yet, but I take it upon myself to order him one too. I’m sure he’ll want to try it.
Like he always seems to when I tell dirty jokes, Coach walks in and hears the punchline. He glares at me. “I don’t want to know the joke. The punchline was enough for me. You’re going to have to grow up at some point, Humblecut.” He shakes his head. “God help the unlucky woman who’s saddled with you one day.”
The other guys chuckle, but I have to fake my smile. If he finds out about my marriage to Kennedy, I wholeheartedly believe he’ll kill me. Instead, I offer him a Boner Shake. “Beau is making Bon…I mean protein shakes. Would you like one, Coach? He says we’ll feel like Superman at our workout tomorrow if we drink it now.”
Coach turns to Beau. “That true, Fudd?”
Beau nods curtly. “Yes, sir. It’s a proven formula. It will be the best workout of your life. Guaranteed.”
“Any potential side effects? I’m not young like you lot.”
Beau gives him an uncharacteristically tentative smile. “Well…umm…you’ll be stronger in everything you do.Everything,” he adds with a heavy dose of suggestiveness and emphasis.
Coach remains clueless. “Fantastic. Maybe my eyes will reap the benefits, and I won’t need my reading glasses tomorrow.” He smiles as he downs the shake in one large succession of gulps.
Beau and I trade glances. He’s nervous. Are the boners from this shake that different from regular boners? I’ve basically been a walking boner for the past two months. How much worse could it be?
KENNEDY
“Whose house are you sleeping at tonight?” I ask my brother as he, Booster, and I sit at the fancy steakhouse I’m taking them to because I’ve been on a major protein kick for the past few weeks, and I’m doing my best to spend as much time with Pierce before my summer season begins.
“Mom’s,” he answers before shifting uncomfortably and scrunching his face. “She’s bringing her new boyfriend to your opening night game tomorrow.”
He doesn’t look happy about it.
“How old is the guy?” I inquire.
Pierce shrugs. “I don’t know. I haven’t met him yet, but she wants me to meet him tomorrow. I don’t want to. All I asked both of them was to either date when I wasn’t around or to wait until I leave for college, which is in less than three months. I don’t know why she felt compelled to introduce me to someone now.”
“Because she’s a bitch who only cares about herself. What about Dad and his bevy of bimbos? That doesn’t bother you?”
He gives me a look of complete and total confusion. “What bimbos? Dad doesn’t date. Or if he does, he never lets on. He’s respected my wishes. I’ve never once seen him with a woman, and he always makes sure to be home on the nights I stay with him.”
Now it’s my turn to be confused. “Then why does he post all those thirst trap videos of himself working out?”
Pierce lets out a laugh. “Do you honestly think Dad would do that, or even know how to do that? He doesn’t have social media. He only just got a real phone last fall.”
That’s true. I had a similar thought when I saw his new phone.
“Who posts those videos?”
Pierce smirks. “Daylen, obviously. He takes sneaky videos of Dad when he’s not looking. I’ve done it with Daylen a few times. You can even hear us laughing in some of the posts. He’s such a funny guy. He created those accounts right after the divorce. I think he thought he was being a good wingman, but then the silver fox thing took on a life of its own. I’m not sure he still does it, but now people just take old videos and splice them into content. It’s kind of gross, albeit funny as hell. The best part is that Dad is totally clueless.”
I lean back in my chair in a bit of shock. “So he doesn’t post those shirtless videos of himself?”
“Fuck no. Dad would never do that. Not in a million years. I doubt he knows the term thirst trap, let alone would participate in one knowingly.”
I’m going to kill Daylen. I should have known.
I’m a clusterfuck of emotions over the guy. On one hand, I hate him; on the other, I dream about those hands. They’re big and strong, and when they were back on my body massaging me a few weeks ago, I almost combusted. I kept willing him to move them lower from my shoulders, but he didn’t. He proceeded to give me the best shoulder rub imaginable. For over an hour, I couldn’t pay attention to the show we were watching.
At least when he left, my new vibrators got the workout of a lifetime. I’m sure it’s nothing about me suddenly being attracted to him and more about the lack of sex in my life. I crave physical contact. I miss it terribly, and that night was the only kind I’ve had in two months.
And I felt something strange in my chest when we were at Harper’s game together. He and Harper had this whole intricate, choreographed handshake. It was like my ovaries actually swooned at how sweet and gentle he is with her.
Gah. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m getting soft in my old age.
Pierce continues, “Dad is the nicest guy on the planet. Heoffered to get himself another seat tomorrow night so Mom’s boyfriend can have his. I think Vance got him an extra ticket.”
