He’s awfully opinionated for a guy who rarely used to get laid but is now secretly banging Sulley every chance he gets.His once sour demeanor is downright cheerful right now. It’s off-putting.
“Hmm,” I twist my lips as if I don’t know the exact minute I last got laid. It’s my biggest dry spell since I started having sex, and there’s nothing I can do about it. “I’m not sure of the date, but let’s just say I’m at the point where my bills come more times a month than I do.”
The guys all laugh again, but then they all share amused glances. “What am I missing?” I ask as I pop a celery stick into my mouth.
Layton shrugs. “That’s what happens right before you find the right one. You start to get fed up with the whole faceless, nameless, emotionless sex scene. The right woman enters your life and,bam,” he shouts, “she grabs you by the heart and the balls and there’s no looking back.”
Trey nods. “He speaks the truth. Listen to the man. I suppose the real question is, have you metthe oneand who is she?”
I have zero hesitation when I respond, “Definitely not,” but then I feel like I’ve betrayed Kennedy for some reason. Yes, she’s my fake wife, but she’s still technically my wife. Maybe the hate isn’t as strong as it once was, but it’s not like we’re friends. Okay, I suppose we’ve sort of become friends over the past month. Maybe I enjoy our workouts. Maybe I look forward to them a little more than I should. Butthe one? Hell no.
Bang. Bang.
I look at Tanner. “What the fuck is that noise? It’s been going on all night.”
He smiles. “Bailey and Harper are in the batting cage.” Tanner had a professional-grade batting cage installed for Harper so she could practice whenever she wants. “Harper’s championship game is tomorrow night. I’m pretty sure she’ll be out there all night.”
“How’s Bailey feeling?” I ask.
“Tired, but otherwise good.”
Trey wiggles his eyebrows up and down. “Is she horny all the time? Gemma was on sex crack when she was pregnant.”
Layton nods in agreement. “So was Arizona.” Arizona just gave birth a few weeks ago. They have a little girl named Ryan. She’s so adorable, with light blonde hair like her mom.
Tanner raises one of his dark, thick eyebrows. “I’m not into locker room chitchat. You all know that.” Tanner never talks about his sex life. Even before Bailey, he was always tight-lipped. A small smile finds his lips though. “But let’s just say I’ll be looking to wrap this up early so I can feed the beast.”
We all chuckle as Cheetah races down the stairs. “Sorry, I was late. Duty called.” He doesn’t look sorry at all. Lucky fucker.
Layton turns to him. “You were the last to arrive. What do you have for us? Hit me with some smart shit. At a minimum, you must be getting smarter by banging Kam.”
Kam might be the only person I know who’s smarter than Beau.
Cheetah nods as if in thought. “You know what? I think Iamgetting smarter. Intelligence by penetration. I’ll have to research if that’s a real thing.”
“Well?” Layton prods, waiting for an answer.
The Cougars play a game of whoever is last to arrive has to give the group a random fun fact. It’s kind of interesting, and no one is better than Cheetah and Kam at coming up with those fun facts.
Cheetah thinks for a brief moment before answering, “Men and women are either right or left-nippled. One is always more sensitive than the other. Kam is left-nippled. It drives her a little crazier when I lick around her left cupcake cap.”
Like morons, each of us starts tweaking our own nipples, trying to figure out which one is more sensitive.
“What are you preposterous men doing?” Harper’s little voice intrudes.
We all turn as she and Bailey stand at the bottom of the steps to the mancave basement, staring at us. Tanner clears his throat as we quickly remove our hands from our own nipples. “Oh, sweetie, Cheetah told us one of his interesting facts. We were just confirming it.”
Harper gasps. “I love fun facts. Aunt Kam has a ton of them.”
Tanner makes a look of disgust. He may love Bailey Hart, but he barely tolerates Kamryn. “Hmm, no doubt she’s full of them. This fact was that the heart is not technically on the left side of your chest, as we’re often told. It’s in the middle, just slightly left of center. Not all the way over. We were trying to feel our heartbeats to confirm that.”
Harper’s little eyebrows shoot together as she feels around the top of her chest. “Hmm, I’m not sure I feel it.”
Tanner looks almost relieved. “Well, next time you go to the doctor, be sure to ask her and let us know if it’s true.
She nods. “I will.”
Within ten seconds, she bounces onto my lap, “What’s up, Uncle Daylen?” She looks at my cards. “Oh wow, three kings, that’s a great hand.”
