I’m contemplating whether or not he’s fucking with me when his computer rings and “Waterfalls” plays throughout the room.
I shake my head. “Are you serious with that song?”
He lets out a laugh as he walks toward his computer, opens the screen, and accepts the video call. “Tell me you have some good news, Tanner.”
Tanner nods. “I do. I was able to get a judge to agree to a video annulment. He’ll log on in a few minutes. As I suspected,they have immediately available resources for this kind of stuff in Vegas. Like I said, waking up in need of an annulment is nothing new out there.”
We both let out a huge and audible sigh of relief. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in an hour.
“I want half,” I joke to both of them with a smile on my face.
Daylen gives me the finger. “Annulment. Not divorce. You’re not getting shit,wifey.”
I shrug with a small giggle. “Can’t blame a girl for trying,hubby.”
“I’m most definitely not equipped to give you the princess treatment you so clearly need.”
I cross my arms in annoyance at his words. “My tits bounce when I walk, so yes, I do expect princess treatment.”
He stares shamelessly at my chest. “They bounce when you fuck too, sugar tits.” He thumps his head. “That’s one memory that will never leave me.”
As I’m giving him the finger, another video box pops up on the screen, and an old man appears. And I mean old. He looks like he’s on his way to his own funeral. He’s all wrinkly with very little hair remaining. The sprinkling on the left is completely white. He appears to be in a home office and doesn’t realize he’s on with us yet as he fiddles with the screen, cursing about technology.
All I can think is this nightmare will be all over in a few minutes. No one ever has to know I was married to Daylen Humblecut for a few hours.
Phew.
DAYLEN
The judge coughs for a solid five minutes before even saying a word. He may not live long enough for the ink to dry on the annulment documents he’s about to sign. We’d better get on with this.
The first thing I did when I woke up and found the marriage certificate was to call Tanner. He’s not only my agent and close friend, but he’s also an attorney. He laughed his ass off for minutes on end. Asshole.
He then assured me this kind of shit happens in Vegas all the time and annulments aren’t too hard to come by. We just needed to wait for the courts to open.
Kennedy walked in looking a little less murderous than I would have expected. I freaked out when I saw her neck, but she was nice enough to reassure me. She could have fucked with me, but I’m glad she appreciated the severity of the situation and gave it to me straight. I’m even more glad she was into it. I may not remember everything about last night, but I’m starting to remember just how amazing the sex was. The passion was on a level I’ve never before experienced. It was like the hate we feel poured perfectly into the sex and made it so damn good.
I have to adjust myself as I look at her. I’ve never once seen her without an ounce of makeup and without her hair perfectly done. Even when she plays ball, she looks camera ready. I wasn’t kidding when I said I prefer her this way. I may hate her personality, but she’s gorgeous. There’s no arguing that.
The judge skirts death by asphyxiation and finally begins talking, albeit with a giant scowl on his face. “Good morning. I’m Judge Salvetti. I’m a retired judge, but we retired judges volunteer and rotate taking on the requests for annulments that flood the office every morning so as not to disturb the real work needed.” He says all this in a very judgmental tone as ifscolding us. “Drunk youngsters who don’t take the sanctity of marriage seriously are a waste of time for active judges dealing with real-world problems.”
Kennedy whispers to me, “Don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel.”
“What was that, young lady?” Judge Dog Ears snaps.
She smiles. “I was just telling my husband how generous it is for you to donate your time.”
He eyes her skeptically, and I subtly elbow her while mouthing offscreen, “Don’t piss him off.”
The judge continues, “I remind you that even though we’re not wasting court space with this nonsense, you’re still under oath.”
We both nod that we understand.
He obtains all our information, including names, birthdates, social security numbers, addresses, and the wedding details from last night that we remember. He’s clearly judging our actions with snippy replies, but I don’t care as long as he signs the damn annulment document.
He asks, “Do you own any joint property?”
“No,” I answer.
