Daylen and I really lose it this time. We fall onto the sidewalk in a fit of hysterics. It’s the funniest name we’ve ever heard in our lives. We keep trying to repeat it over and over without any success.
Elvis/Pinky starts singing the words to “All Shook Up” followed by “Love Me Tender.” He’s even got a microphone, though I don’t think it’s connected to a speaker. None that I can hear.
As if it’s just occurring to Daylen where we are, he gasps. “Oh my god, this is a sign. Let’s make it official, wifey.” He proudly shows Elvis/Pinky his ring finger. “This rubber band ring is getting tight. We need real ones. Do you have those?”
Elivis/Pinky nods. “Sure do, my hunk of burning love. We’ve got all kinds of wedding packages. Come inside, love birds. We’ll get you two married in no time.”
My face falls. “I can’t get married without a veil.” I go on and on about not being able to properly get married without a veil. I make no mention of a dress, friends, or family, just the veil. I don’t know why I’m fixated on it, but I am.
I’m now standing again on the sidewalk, but Daylen is still on the ground. He gets on his knees in front of me and runs his hands up my bare thighs. I shiver at his touch and the erotic movement. “Your hands are so big, hubby.” They’re huge. I never realized how big Daylen’s hands are, and the thought is making my nipples harden.
He nods as they move up and then under my dress. I stand there and let it happen because nothing has ever felt better in my entire life.
His fingers brush over my long-neglected pussy, and I gulp. I don’t care where we are, I just want those thick fingers inside me as soon as possible. Please let him pull my panties to the side and push a finger into me. I’ve had dicks in me smaller than those fingers. I know I could orgasm from it, and I desperately need a non-self-induced orgasm. It’s been far too long.
Before I realize what’s happening, he’s pulling my red lace thong down my legs. I watch, transfixed by the move, wondering what he intends to do next. His dick inside me is what I’m hoping for.
“Lift your feet, wifey,” he breathes as if he’s as turned on as I am.
I lift one at a time until my thong is in his hand. He brings it to his nose and inhales deeply. It’s so hot. If I were still wearing the panties, they’d be flooded. There’s now a waterfall of slickness between my thighs.
After a few more inhales, he hands them back to me. “You can use this as your veil.”
Why didn’t I think of that? It’s genius. It matches my dress perfectly. I find myself wondering if other brides use their panties as veils too. It makes sense that they would, right?
After placing it in my hair, we walk inside the chapel. It’s got a disco ball hanging that is hypnotizing me. There are several rows of wooden pews with pretty flowers. They might be plastic, but they look beautiful.
We learn you get a free pizza when you buy a wedding, which we’re extremely excited about because it’s been seven hours since dinner and we’re famished. After paying for the upgraded package—my husband-to-be is very good to me—we make our way to the altar.
With our drinks still in hand, Elvis/Pinky begins the service. Daylen stares at me the whole time. When it’s his turn to repeatafter Elvis/Pinky, he goes off script. “You have the prettiest eyes. They’re the first thing I noticed about you. I was lost in them until you opened your mouth and ruined it. But your eyes never fail to stir something in me.”
“If you think they’re pretty now, wait until you see them while I’m on my knees looking up at you with my ponytail wrapped around your hand.”
“Fuuuck,” he moans as he adjusts himself. His eyes widen as if something has just occurred to him. “Did you know that a blowjob is the only job in the world you can’t use on your resume despite years of experience and number of references? But don’t worry,” he slurs, “I’m like Maxwell House. Good to the last drop.”
I giggle at my hysterical husband before responding, “Good to know. You should know that Yelp just rated me the best place to eat out.”
He pumps his fist. “Yay. Can’t wait to taste your rainbow.”
The rest of the ceremony goes off in a bit of a blur, but I do manage to finish my drink, as does Daylen.
We leave the chapel with a few mementos stuffed into my purse and a delicious pizza pie. We’re attacking that pizza like we haven’t eaten in months when we bump into a large man.Looking him over, I see he’s in head-to-toe leather and covered in tattoos.
He gives us a warm smile. “You two having fun tonight?”
I nod. “The best time ever ever ever. We got married,” I screech.
He lets out a laugh. Not sure why getting married is funny. “Congratulations.”
“Are you the welcoming committee?” I absurdly ask.
He smirks as he shakes his head. “Nope, I own this tattoo parlor.” He points to the sign above our heads that I hadn’t noticed before. “Why don’t you two come inside and have a look around?”
I examine the green, well-lit sign. Sure enough, it’s a tattoo parlor namedInkognito.Whatabrilliantname, I think.
We follow him in and look at all the photos of intricate tattoos on the wall. I’ve never been a tattoo person, but I’m finding it particularly fascinating tonight.
The man asks me if I want one. I shrug. “I wouldn’t know what to get, but my husband had another woman’s name tattooed on his abdominium…abdomino…abdicate…” Crap, why can’t I think of the word? “Abdomen!” I eventually shout. “Yes, he has another woman’s name on there, and I’m jealous. He should get my name too, don’t you think?”
