I nod in understanding. The admission softens things a bit for me. At least I don’t feel like she was some sort of spy or anything.
My father nods in agreement. “I don’t know what you twotalk about, but I do know you are in desperate need of a mother figure in your life. It’s something you missed out on, and I was happy to hear you found it in Fallon. I’ve never met a better mother than her, certainly leaps and bounds above the hand you were dealt. I love that you have her in your life. You’ve been lost for so long, but there have been so many positive changes in you since you moved back into town. I have no doubt having Fallon in your life has played at least some part in that.”
Interesting. It’s the first time he’s ever ragged on my mother, indirectly or not.
He continues, “Fallon wanted to tell you—she’s been wanting to tell you for a long while—but I was afraid you’d clam up like you have for the past ten years.”
“Can you blame me?” I yell in frustration. Why is he always so nonchalant about my mother’s behavior? We’ve never discussed it. Not once.
He visibly swallows. “I’m sure it was traumatic walking in on your mother having an affair, but you turned your back on all of us after that day.”
“An affair?” I ask with incredulity. “It was way more than that, don’t you think?”
Confusion crosses both their faces as they look at each other with creased brows and then at me. Holy shit. They have no idea what I’m talking about.
“Do you know who she had an affair with, Dad?”
He shakes his head. “She never said. I assumed some stranger she met. She never let on that it was anyone we knew.” His eyes widen. “Did you know the man?”
I bark out a laugh. Of course my mother lied to me about telling him everything. Why would I ever think otherwise?
“Does the name Nick Castillo ring a bell, Dad?”
I can see on his face that he’s running through names and faces in his head, unable to find the answer. He sucks in a breath the moment it hits him. “Your boyfriend? That older college guy you were dating who I wanted to choke to death every time hewalked into the house with a smug smile like it was normal for a twenty-year-old to date a sixteen-year-old?”
I nod once. “Ding, ding, ding. You’ve won a prize,” I announce like a game show host. “I didn’t walk intomyhouse,mysafe haven,myhome, and seemymother having sex with a stranger. I walked in and found her getting railed from behind bymyboyfriend. Onmykitchen table. The same place I used to domyhomework. The same guy I lostmyvirginity to a few weeks earlier.”
Teardrops fall in rapid succession from Fallon’s eyes. She breathes my name while my father sits silently, looking like a deer in headlights. He’s not faking this. He genuinely didn’t know.
Reality eventually hits him too, and tears trickle from his eyes, nearly matching hers.
Personally, I’m fresh out of tears. I’m so damn sick of crying over these people. All I really want to do is to go home to my husband, crawl into bed with him, and then let him help me forget this day.
My dad looks at me with a face full of emotion. Glassy green eyes I recognize from every time I look in the mirror. “I know I wasn’t a great father to you. I know I let my own demons take over and wasn’t around like I should have been. I’m so sorry for that. You’ll never know just how much I regret the way I acted. I’ve tried my best to be there for Pierce in all the ways I failed you. I’ve tried to make it up to you as best as I can. But I swear to you, Kennedy, I didn’t realize just how horrific it was for you. Your mother told me you caught her in bed with another man, but that I shouldn’t bring it up to you because it would be like reliving the trauma all over again. I wanted to kick her out right away, but she said you’d blame yourself for our divorce and that we should stick it out until you left for college. It made sense, so I agreed to it. I had no idea how bad it was.” He starts to get choked up. Covering his mouth with his hand, he croaksout, “My poor little girl. You’ve lost so much. Even more than I ever knew.”
I believe him. He’s visibly suffering right now. Even though she’s grappling with her own emotions over what happened, Fallon moves to comfort him.
I sigh, knowing what I need to say. “Frankly, it makes perfect sense. I never understood why you didn’t react like you are right now. Now I get it. You didn’t know. She lied to me about having told you because I threatened that I would if she didn’t. I’ll never forgive her for any of it, and I’ll never have a relationship with her, but I don’t feel that way about you, Dad. I want you in my life. I need you in my life. I want to move past the painful memories and look toward a more positive future, one I hope you’ll be a part of.”
I really want to tell him that I want him to be a grandfather to my child, but I made a promise to Daylen, and I intend to see it through. It obviously means a lot to him, and I realized tonight that I need to better respect his wishes. He’s more than earned it.
Dad starts to stand but then thinks better of it while holding the blanket in place. One corner of his mouth turns up slightly. “If I wasn’t naked, I’d hug you.”
I let out a laugh. “Good thinking. Please stay exactly where you are. We can hug another time.”
Fallon, meanwhile, is a sobbing, slobbering mess.
I exhale a long breath. “Dad, your girlfriend is a crybaby. Get her under control.”
His small smile widens a bit as he pulls Fallon into his arms to console her. Their interactions are so familiar and loving. It’s obvious there are real feelings involved.
I suppose she cares about me too or she wouldn’t be this upset over everything.
The devil on one shoulder wants to let her stew in misery for lying to me, but now I’ve got goddamn SulleyandDaylen on the other shoulder telling me to console the woman who has come to mean so much to me this year.
The stupid angels win out in the end. I walk over to Fallon and bend over, offering her a hug. She immediately pulls away from my father and wraps her arms around me so damn hard, like she’s never going to let me go.
We stay in an embrace for a long while. By the time she calms down and we break apart, my father is standing and dressed.
