I nod. “Yes.”
“I didn’t know you two were dating. You’re kind of an unlikely pair. He’s so…goofy. At least on TV and in the handful of times I met him when I was married to Tanner. We lived in New York City when we were married, so we didn’t see Tanner’s Philly clients as much as he does now. I can’t believe you’ve been able to keep your relationship with Daylen out of the press. You’re both so popular in this town.”
“We’re not really dating. It’s…complicated.” I then go on to tell her everything.Everything. It feels so good to finally unload it all on someone. A small amount of the weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders is lifted. The therapist in Maine was right about that.
Fallon sits there with shock written all over her pretty face. “Holy shit,” she breathes. “That’s intense. And crazy. You’remarriedto him?”
“I am.”
“Does anyone else know?”
I shake my head. “Just Tanner. He tried to help us get the quickie annulment, which sort of backfired on us.”
“Right. Makes sense. How do you feel about Daylen?”
I exhale a long breath. “He’s a great guy. I hated him at first, but I don’t feel that way now. Not at all. He’s different from any other man I’ve spent time with. It’s hard to articulate.” I take another sip of my hot chocolate. “He makes me feel…safe. I trust him, and no matter what happens with us, I know he’ll be a loving, attentive father.”
She gives me a small smile. “Well, that’s important, sweetie. More important than you could possibly imagine.”
I nod. “I know it is, but we’re not in love. We’re not even together. I can admit the physical chemistry is strong,verystrong. But we were thrust into this situation. We’ve never even gone on a real date.”
“You spend two or three days a week with him playing ball. You don’t have to go out for a meal for it to be considered a real date. I’m sure you know a lot about him at this point, more than plenty of others who get married, trust me. Some of my friends married men they barely knew.”
I twist my lips. “Fair point.” I take another sip. “He had it in his head that we would be moving in together and living the happily ever after life. I had to put the brakes on things. I won’t just be with him because of the baby. The baby should have nothing to do with us as a couple.”
“I understand that, but don’t close the door on things working out between you two. They could. It’s obvious you have real feelings for him.” She shakes her head and lets out a small laugh. “Man, this is the most chronologically fucked up relationship ever. First comes hate, then comes marriage, then comes sex, then comes dating, then comes friendship, then comes baby. Maybe the next thing will be love?” she adds hopefully.
I can’t hide my smile. “Yep, fucked up. That’s me and my life in a nutshell.”
“You’re not fucked up, Kennedy. You have some demons, as does everyone. You don’t think I was fucked up after my marriage ended? Let me promise you, I was. I am. It’s been seven years, and I still don’t have my shit together most days.”
“You? You’re perfect.”
She lets out a laugh. “Ha. Perfect. Right.” She turns toward the staircase; I assume to ensure Harper isn’t within earshot. She then leans toward me and lowers her voice. “My husband was ignoring me, so I went out and fucked his best friend in the alleyof a bar while that husband was at home with our two-year-old daughter. Does that sound perfect to you?”
I think my chin physically drops to the floor. I’m rendered speechless. In a million years, I never would have guessed that about her. In my mind, I assumed the divorce was Tanner’s fault. How could it ever be hers?
“Yep,” she reacts to what must be shock written all over my face. “It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret it, even all these years later. I ran home and tearfully confessed to Tanner right away. We were legally separated by the next day.” She leans back in her chair and nods her head in satisfaction. “No one is perfect. We all have demons. We’ve all made mistakes. And none of us has a time machine to allow us to rewrite the past. I wish more than most that we did, but we don’t. All you can do is learn from those mistakes and move forward. Try each day to be better than you were the day before. Try to raise a good kid who isn’t an asshole.”
Harper gasps as she descends the stairs. “You said a bad word, Mommy.”
Fallon raises an eyebrow as if to remind me just how imperfect she is.
I went homeafter Fallon’s and spent the evening doing a lot of thinking. Yes, we’ve done everything in a messed-up order, but I can’t control the past. As crazy as it sounds, I think the best thing is for Daylen and me to date. I’m pregnant with his child, but we’ll have to put that out of our minds if we want to get to know each other properly. I do like him and can’t deny that I’m attracted to him, but there are certain things that can’t be rushed. It’s got to be this way or no way at all. I won’t just be with him because of this baby. It’s not fair to either the baby or us. I knowwhat it’s like to grow up in a house with parents who don’t belong together.
It's morning and I’m on my way to my father’s pickleball club. My brother and I are playing with my father and Double Dees. Pierce and I are going out for lunch afterward. He leaves for college next week. I’m so happy he’ll be close by. I want him in my life. I want him in his niece or nephew’s life too.
I see the three of them already sitting on a bench when I arrive at the club. Double Dees is yapping away, and I overhear him asking them, “What’s the useless skin at the end of a penis called?”
“A man,” I answer before any of them can, as I approach the group.
My father and Pierce chuckle while Double Dees smiles. “You’re ruining my joke, Triple Dees. The next part was supposed to be: What do you call a man with too much foreskin?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.” I do, but I don’t want to ruin it for him.
“Fiveskin,” he cackles.
I let out a laugh. “Good one, old man.”
