Verus’s dark gaze shifted to me, and I met his eye, fighting back a scowl. I still felt the sting of his rejection, despite how things had ended up. It would take time to move on from it.
“Go on, then,” he demanded when I didn’t speak.
My lip lifted, and something crass crossed my mind, but Saneth knew me well. He elbowed me in the stomach, making me grunt and dashing the words from my mouth. I rubbed at the sore spot, frowning at him.
“Ouch.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t pretend it hurt. You promised, Tavik.”
With a long-suffering sigh, I nodded and turned to face Patrick, forcing my words to be polite. “I wanted to apologize. I let my jealousies blind me from the truth and was unjustly cruel to you. Saneth told me what you did for us. Had you not befriended him, I might not have ever found my happiness. So I’m sorry. And thank you for hearing his words.”
Saneth drew in a breath at my confession, looking up at me with a surprised expression on his face. It made me want to kiss him, but Patrick’s reply interrupted me before I could reach for him.
“Thank you for apologizing. Saneth is my friend. I’m glad he found the courage to tell you how he felt.”
So was I. More thankful than anyone knew. When I looked at Saneth again, projecting my feelings to him, he rolled his eyes and elbowed me again, though gentler this time, and a smile teased at his lips. “Okay, we will leave you be now. I thought I would find you in the cooking tent since breakfast is soon. I’m sorry if I woke you.”
Patrick’s eyes suddenly went wide, confusing me as he whipped his gaze skyward. He spun without another word, dashing back into the tent, leaving Verus standing there with a confused frown on his face that mirrored my own. He had to grab the heavier man when he came rushing back out again, holding him still to ask what was wrong.
“Ravsol? Where are you going?”
“I’m late!” Patrick screeched, wriggling free of his hold. “You kept me up too late!”
I snorted, unable to help myself, and Verus laughed outright as Patrick hobbled away. Amused, Saneth followed him, leaving me and Verus alone for the first time. It was awkward, and it felt strange to be near him and feel nothing. I had wanted him for a long time, but I realized now that it wasn’t in the right way. He was popular but never returned my affections, which only seemed to make me want him more. Now, having affection freely given, I realized where I’d gone wrong. I was looking for the wrong thing.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, turning to face him. “I was jealous that you never looked at me. I shouldn’t have acted as I did.”
Verus’s smile tempered, and he looked me over with a calculating expression. “I’m surprised you held on for so long when the man meant for you was standing beside you.”
I winced at the accuracy of his words. “I’ll admit I was a fool for not noticing him sooner. I have loved him for a long time. I just…”
“Didn’t know you had that option?” he offered when the words failed me. When I nodded, he asked, “If you had noticed, would you have even looked at me?”
“No.” It took no thought at all to answer that question. Saneth had been by my side since we were children. If I’d known he was an option, I never would have considered anyone else. “He’s my brokkul. My heart bond. If I had known he felt the way he did, I never would have considered anyone else.” I sighed, rubbing at the back of my neck. “I just wish I could get him to believe that.”
Verus’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
“He believes his love is one-sided. That I couldn’t feel the same because he has wanted me longer. I do not know how to prove otherwise.”
“Do you? Feel the same way?” he asked curiously.
“I have always loved him. I just didn’t realize how deeply until he nearly walked away.”
Verus nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful. “Have you asked him to bond with you? If you want him to realize you feel the same way, that might be the way to do it.”
My stomach flipped at the thought. To be bonded to Saneth would be… everything.
Five
SANETH
Yamileth was hard at work in the cooking tent when Patrick and I arrived. He rushed out his apologies and wouldn’t settle until she squeezed his cheeks in that way that always made him melt. He’d told me how he loved that she was affectionate with him. His own parents had barely looked at him his whole life. They hadn’t even acknowledged his achievement when he opened his bakery. I was glad he’d found his way here. It was better for him.
When Yamileth’s attention swung to me, I prepared myself for whatever task she would demand of me. She didn’t trust just anyone to assist her, but she’d said I was proficient in preparing the simple things. Enough that she insisted I help if I came to visit.
“So?”
Staring at her, I frowned. “So?”
