A lifetime of dreaming and pretending the characters in books were both men, so I could imagine a real romance, didn't prepare me for my first kiss. It was barely anything at first, a chaste brush of our lips, but when I pulled away, Rath followed me, taking my lips more firmly. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, drowning out all my senses except for the touch of his lips on mine. Gentle sips at first, then deeper, his tongue pushing between my lips to tangle with mine. I hadn’t been expecting it, and my body lit up in response, my back arching to press myself more firmly against him.
His weight settled more firmly on top of me, giving me the warm and safe feeling I craved. Thick fingers combed through my hair, making me shiver and mewl for more. I never thought I was touch starved, but the more Rath touched me, the more I wanted from him.
By the time Rath pulled away, I was panting, and my lips felt swollen from the attention. He leaned his forehead against mine again, his smile strained.
“You need sleep,” he murmured, brushing his lips against mine again like he couldn’t resist. Then he drew away completely.
I whimpered out a protest, clinging to him and shaking my head. “Don’t go. Please.”
I’d said it in my own language, desperation making it hard to translate my thoughts, but he seemed to understand me. He shifted his weight so he was close but wouldn’t crush me, his big body blanketing me like I wanted. I cuddled as close as I could, and he tucked my head under his chin before rumbling out, “Sleep well, my Finn.”
I swear, in that moment, I fell hard for the barbarian who’d claimed me.
Ten
It was getting embarrassing how often I was waking up hard and needy. The first few days after the attack, it was fine. I woke up cuddled against Rath and happy. But eventually, the dirty dreams came back, and they were getting more salacious as time went on. Every smirk and smile he sent my way was fuel for more dirty dreams. Twice now, I woke up grinding my arousal against his hip, so close to completion that a stiff breeze would have pushed me over the edge.
I wasn’t naïve enough to think Rath didn’t notice. He wasn’t oblivious. But he was kind enough not to bring it up, waiting long enough for me to calm down before starting our daily routine. He’d forced me out of the tent when I tried to hide after my attack, but instead of bringing me to the village center, he’d left me with his brother while he went hunting. Godr was a goofball, and he still hadn’t learned to slow down his speech, so I could only get half of what he was saying to me, but I liked watching him train the younger horses, and he let me visit with the calmer ones while he was busy.
This morning, I squeezed my eyes shut and ran through what I planned to do with my day. Or, at least, that had been myintention. But instead of ignoring it like he normally did, Rath pulled me in tighter, pressing a small kiss right below my ear.
“You hide from me, my Finn.”
“N-no, I don’t,” I protested, squirming when his thumb brushed over my nipple as he tugged me closer.
He nipped my neck just rough enough to make me gasp before soothing the sting with a kiss. He was more affectionate since our first kiss, but he’d never been this forward before. My stomach flipped when his hand moved lower, and I almost wanted to let him touch me, but the embarrassment overwhelmed me before he could, and I caught his wrist to stop him.
Usually, my apprehension was enough to stop him. When he’d tried to kiss me out in the field while visiting Vann and I shied away, he hadn’t pushed. He’d detoured and kissed the top of my head instead before taking me on a short ride with him. This time, he was determined to get me to admit I was hiding something from him. No amount of fighting or squirming helped, and I ended up flat on my back with my arms trapped over my head. My breath caught in my throat as the weight of him settled against my throbbing erection. I tried to look anywhere but at him, embarrassed at my reaction.
“Finn. Look at me,” he cajoled, running his nose along my jaw.
I shook my head. I was too embarrassed. At least until he moved his hips, and I felt his erection rub against mine. My response was immediate and even more embarrassing than the erection. I let out a lusty moan, bucking my hips to get him to repeat the movement. He did, and I almost reached completion with that one move.
“Finn…” Rath’s voice was strained, and when I finally looked up at him, his expression was heat and pain, like he was fighting to keep his control.
I remembered what Zoya said about tributes having a choice. I never actually told Rath I wanted him. He was reacting like any man would to someone squirming and moaning against him, but he didn’t know how I felt about it.
“Please… Please don’t stop.”
It was his turn to groan. He rocked against me, sending lightning shocks of pleasure exploding through me with every rut of his hips. I gasped and moaned, lifting my hips as much as I could, but I didn’t have much leverage. Not until I got my legs free and spread them, so he lay between them.
“Finn,” Rath groaned, his pace increasing as he ground against me. Hearing my name on his lips, said so rough and lusty, had me spilling my seed, shooting over the edge with a cry. My whole body shook with the force of it, the thrash of my heartbeat in my ears nearly drowning out Rath’s moan as he reached completion just after me.
When I finally came down from the intensity of the release, my stomach was sticky, the tunic I slept in was wet, and the man I was falling for was looking at me like something precious. I was happy with that.
“Why?”
I was whining. I knew I was. But Rath said we had to go to the river to clean up. The thought of entering that icy water again was… I shuddered at the thought. Jailed for two days wasn’t as torturous as that.
“To get clean. Come, my Finn. It is safe.”
That wasn’t what I was worried about, but it did make me frown. Was it something I needed to worry about?
“Why did you say that? Is it ever unsafe?”
He pressed his lips together and refused to answer. With days of constantly using his language, I felt like I had a decent grasp of it, enough for him to explain things to me, but his refusal spoke volumes. Great. Something else to be terrified of.
Rath pulled me against him, running his fingers through my hair with a smile. “You are safe, my Finn.”
