“Nineteen,” Paul replied.
Adeline rose and paced to the window, her stomach churning.
“Darling, are you all right?” Malcolm asked.
She whirled around. “No, I am not all right. Is there no end to my father’s villainy? Murder, thievery, manipulation of young men barely out of adolescence for his own gain?” She knew her voice was too loud; the backs of her eyes burned with tears. “I am never going back. I don’t care anymore about the scandal.”
Malcolm held out his hand. “You will never be under his roof again. I promise.”
She crossed back and let him fold her into his arms. He kissed her temple.
“Sorry,” she mumbled again. “Please tell us the rest.”
Paul stared at her for a long moment before he resumed his tale. “I got to a point where I was so desperate, so disgusted with myself. I couldn’t see any way out of debt. The income from the estate barely made a dent in what I owed. I was ducking collection men. Couldn’t find a way out. And then one night, after trying to drink myself to death, I took a knife and did this.” He shoved up his sleeves and showed them two long scars, one on each arm, that ran from wrist to almost his elbow.
“Christ, Paul. What were you thinking?” Malcolm exclaimed.
“I wasn’t thinking! I was lost and desperate and stupid. So so stupid. My valet found me and called Dr. Howser. Do you remember Dr. Howser?”
Malcolm nodded his head.
“He was the family physician for our whole lives,” Paul explained. “He stitched me up. Saved my life. But I didn’t want to be saved. I begged him to let me die. In the end, he did. He told the staff I had bled out, and he transported my body to his clinic to prepare for burial. Against my wishes, he nursed me back to health.
“In the end, I believe he told everyone that I had some disease that had caused me to go insane and that he had burned my body to prevent the contagion from spreading. He knew I desperately needed a fresh start. He paid for my transport on a ship to France.” Paul looked lovingly at his wife. “I arrived there with no money, a lost soul in mind and spirit. Marielle saved me. She got me a job with her father’s gang. Slowly, I came back to life as someone new, a different version of me.”
“And you left me behind. Alone.” Malcolm’s jaw clenched.
The arm he had wrapped around her shoulders also tightened as though he needed her as an anchor against his churning emotions.
“I know. I am so sorry. I was entirely self-absorbed, drowning in problems of my own making. And I am ashamed to say that I didn’t think about you at all but know this. I have thought about you often since and with plenty of regret. I hope you can forgive me someday.”
“I don’t know.” Malcolm leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. His head hung low. “I missed you so fucking much.” He rose abruptly and stalked out of the room.
Paul slumped back, his expression distraught.
Adeline felt sorry for him. He had made mistakes that perhaps could not be forgiven. But she had a feeling Malcolm would come around eventually. If she had learned one thing about Malcolm, it was that he had a huge capacity for love. Not that she would tell Paul her thoughts; he deserved any discomfort that Malcolm dished out.
She stood. “Perhaps you can come back later?”
Marielle nodded and slid her hand into her husband’s.
Adeline turned to go find her gallant in distress.
Chapter Thirty-One
She didn’t haveto go far to find him. Malcolm stood in the middle of the front foyer, staring at the massive carved wood door. Adeline slipped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his back.
His hand covered hers. “I am so angry still. But underneath, there is this deep well of grief.”
“You lost so much at a young age. You must give yourself time to sort out all you learned today. Would you like to go for a walk? Do you need something more to eat?”
He turned to face her. “No, all I need is this.” His arms circled her. “All I need is you.” He captured her lips in a kiss that tasted like strawberry jam and sadness.
“Ahem, Lord Kingsbury.”
They broke apart and found Mrs. Ford coming down the stairs toward them. “I have finished making the beds and freshening the master suite and the adjoining room for your wife.”
“Perfect.” Malcolm grabbed her hand. “We are going to take a rest. Can you please have Mr. Ford send for our things from the inn?”
